Letter to the Editor: Grooming often starts subtly

As the parent of a child at Quincy Public Schools and the CEO of QUANADA, an organization that provides services to survivors of domestic and sexual violence, I’m disgusted by the behaviors of PE staff at Denman.

As parents, caregivers, and community members, one of our most important responsibilities is to keep children safe from harm. Behaviors like those detailed in the DCFS report can, regardless of intent, have the impact of disrespecting boundaries and making our children vulnerable to sexual abuse in the future.

First, we must help children recognize inappropriate behavior. Grooming often starts subtly — a trusted adult offering gifts, secrets, or special attention that slowly cross boundaries. By teaching children to identify these warning signs and understand the difference between welcome and unwelcome touch, we empower them.

Next, we must teach kids how to resist. This doesn’t mean they are responsible for preventing abuse — but children should know they have the right to say “no,” walk away, or seek help. Practicing scenarios can help build confidence in speaking up, especially when someone in authority is involved.

Most importantly, kids must be encouraged to report any behavior that makes them feel uncomfortable or confused. When adults respond with belief, support, and action, we create a culture where abuse is less likely to go unchecked.

Foundational to the recognize, resist, report, approach is the concept of everyday consent. Teaching children that they have ownership of their own bodies — that they can say no to hugs, that their boundaries matter, and that consent must be mutual — lays the groundwork for healthier relationships throughout life. It also helps them recognize when those boundaries are being violated. And we don’t need to center these types of conversations exclusively around sex to have an impact. Everyday consent includes things like asking for permission to take a drink out of someone’s glass, borrow a sweatshirt, or post a picture of someone on social media.

Keeping kids safe is not a one-time conversation. It’s an ongoing dialogue rooted in trust, openness, and empowerment. When we talk to children about consent and equip them with the tools to recognize, resist, and report abuse, we send a clear message: their bodies are their own, and their safety is our shared priority.

Megan Duesterhaus, PhD
Chief Executive Officer
QUANADA
Quincy, IL