But what about the teetotalers? Don’t throw away their shots!

First, the Illinois General Assembly and Gov. J.B. Pritzker took care of us with “Boilermakers for vaccines” or “Shots for Shots” or “Shots for Shots and a beer”.

Pritzker signed it into law on Wednesday because, damn, that was pressing!

Now President Joe Biden is offering another beer when the country gets 70 percent vaccinated.

Now, I do have friends (and so do you) who won’t currently get the vaccine. But many of them also like their liquor, so maybe this is the ticket. You know who you are…

I had my shots (Pfizer). I have no third nipple or new appendage growing out of my backside (yet). My question is, will the government provide me with Moderna, Johnson and Johnson, Eli Lilly, Monsanto, Ortho or whoever comes out with more vaccines? Can I get all the shots and be a guinea pig to see if more is better?

if I get enough shots, can I just redeem them all for a bottle of something top shelf from The Liquor Booth?

When I get my shot, do I get Lagavulin, Johnnie Walker Blue, Tullamore DEW or Crown Royal or do you give me whatever bottom shelf swill Brittany Boll dusts off and grabs from under the Spring Street Bar bar?

And about the beer…I’m fine with making it an American beer. It wouldn’t seem right drinking a Tsingtao after they shipped over the virus to us.

A Quincy Brewing Company home-brewed pint would be lovely. Or the beloved Bud (Select) or Busch (Latte) I grew up with. A craft beer from the STL or Chicago would be fine too.

And for our friends who do not imbibe, what about them? Why are they being left out? Do they have to settle for a soda?

Better yet, can I just have their drinks?