DAILY DIRT: Brace yourself, those gas prices will probably continue to climb

It’s commonly referred to as pain at the pump. Really? I think it could be better described as a pain in the … well, you know. Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 299 of The Daily Dirt.

(PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Ass, Steve. It’s okay to say ass here. We’re not some stuffy old newspaper owned by people sipping Chardonnay at the club and Mrs. Marion Coatsworth Hay is going to complain to Mrs. Genevieve Eleanor Jacobs about what some proletariat wrote in the fine community paper. We don’t care. Probably should stay away from George Carlin’s seven words (maybe), but ass is fine. JRG.)

1. Earlier this year, when gas prices were around $3.50 a gallon, I mentioned in this space not to get too comfortable.

Things were probably going to get worse. That was because there are two analysts I have followed for years, both of whom have excellent contacts within the fuel industry and both of whom have impeccable track records when it comes to predicting that aforementioned pain at the pump.

Perhaps you recall the following words from early March in this space:

“Unless something drastic happens, we are headed for average pump prices in the $4.50-$4.75 gallon range for motor fuel and beyond $5 a gallon for diesel,” wrote Tom Kloza, head of global energy analysis at Oil Price Information Services.

Kloza is rarely wrong. Entering this week, the national average was $4.60. (And noticeably higher in Quincy.) Another go-to-guy for me is always Patrick DeHaan of GasBuddy.com. I’ve had numerous phone conversations with DeHaan over the years and he is normally spot on. On Monday, he tweeted we may be in the midst of a calm before another huge storm, all tied to the European Union’s sanctions against Russia for the ongoing travesties in Ukraine.

At this point, DeHaan is not ruling out prices as high as $6 a gallon by sometime in August. He said he’s not (yet) convinced the average price per gallon will climb that high that fast, but was not ruling out the possibility.

Some other food for thought on this matter:

According to a research note from JPMorgan, the commercial and investment banking institution, analysts estimate the national average price of gas will likely reach $6 by the end of the summer.

There are at least eight stations in California where regular gas is now as much as $7.25 a gallon.

2. Enough of the bad news, right?

Here are some more unusual town names in our ongoing quest to find the craziest name for a city, town or hamlet:

• Pig, Ky.
• Satan’s Kingdom, Mass.
• Big Sag, Mont.
• Worms, Neb.
• Handsome Eddy, N.Y. (For the record, I’m still fondest of Booger Hole, W. Va.)
  

3. We haven’t touched base with some of the worst advertising slogans for awhile.

Here’s our latest finds:

Gold medal: “Approach Women Like You Do Wild Animals, With Caution And A Soothing Voice.” (Dos Equis)

Silver medal: “If We Can’t Have Fresh Air, At Least We Can Have Fresh Muffins.” (7-Eleven)

Bronze medal: “Good Luck.” (Uzbekistan Airways)

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Steve would like to wish a happy 92nd birthday today to Clint Eastwood.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He tries not to offend people. He leaves that up to the publisher.