Daily Dirt: From 1980’s finest to … ‘Tradition is peer pressure from dead people’

Daily Dirt for Saturday, June 4, 2022

I’m pretty sure every red-blooded American boy had a crush on Debbie Harry of Blondie in the 1980s … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 302 of The Daily Dirt.

1. The year was 1980. We were just entering what would later be known as “The Big 80s.” These were the top 10 songs for that year, according to Billboard:

• 1. “Call Me,” by Blondie: One of the true supergroups from this decade.
• 2. “Another Brick In The Wall,” by Pink Floyd: Bor-r-r-r-ring.
• 3. “Magic,” by Olivia Newton-John: I always thought Olivia was at her best on more upbeat songs.
• 4. “Rock With You,” by Michael Jackson: A great, great song. Michael had not gone all weird yet.
• 5. “Do That To Me One More Time,” by Captain and Tennille: The epitome of “soft rock.”
• 6. “Crazy Little Thing Called Love,” by Queen: The versatility of Freddie Mercury and Queen was truly underrated.
• 7. “Coming Up,” by Paul McCartney and Wings: Might be my favorite post-Beatles song from Sir Paul.
• 8. “Funkytown,” by Lipps Inc.: I always thought this would have been a bigger hit in the ’70s.
• 9. “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me,” by Billy Joel: Billy had some mighty fine songs. This, however, was not one of them.
• 10. “The Rose,” by Bette Midler: Another one of those songs that … just … would … not … end.

2. Some more June holidays we all should acknowledge:

• National Chocolate Ice Cream Day, June 7: I’ve always preferred my ice cream in a wafer cone, as opposed to a bowl.
• National Chocolate Eclair Day, June 22: Did you ever buy one of those chilled buckets of miniature chocolate eclairs at Hy-Vee? Oh my …
• National Onion Rings Day, June 22: The crispier, the better. There are few less desirable food items than an onion ring that loses its breading.
• National Strawberry Parfait Day, June 25: I don’t believe I have ever met a parfait I didn’t like.
• National Chocolate Pudding Day, June 26: The best of all the puddings.
• National Ice Cream Cake Day, June 27: From Baskin-Robbins, I presume?
• National Ice Cream Soda Day, June 30: A highly underrated treat.

3. The latest and greatest from the Daily Dirt research crew that monitors Facebook:

• “When you teach a wolf to meditate, he becomes aware wolf.”
• “In the past, actors in black and white movies often risked their lives during driving scenes because they were unable to tell whether the traffic light was red or green.”
• “Tradition is peer pressure from dead people.”
• “A majority of archeologists are women for their ability to dig up the past.”
• “This pen is amazing. It can write underwater and it can write other words as well.”

Steve Thought O’ The Day
Steve needs a chocolate eclair. Now.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Did it surprise you that all of the June holidays he believes should be acknowledged were about food? Didn’t think so.