Daily Dirt: How about Jennifer Aniston as the new Abby Ewing?

Daily Dirt for Sunday, June 5, 2022

For the record, “Knots Landing” may be my all-time favorite non-sports programming to ever appear on network television … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 303 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Here are four TV shows from the past that I think deserve a reboot or remake. I’ve included suggestions of who might play the key characters:

• “Knots Landing,” CBS (1979-93): The finest of the old prime-time soap operas, headed by the infamous Abby Ewing character (portrayed by Donna Mills). I would try and entice Jennifer Aniston for the Abby reprise, turning her rather squeaky-clean image into a “bad girl.”
• “Breaking Bad,” AMC (2008-13): What could possibly go wrong jumping into bed with a drug cartel? My suggestion for the Walter White figure so aptly provided us by Bryan Cranston would be Donnie Wahlberg of “Blue Bloods,” whose overall edginess would be perfect.
• “Deadwood,” HBO (2006-08): The old west was never portrayed in such a raunchy, crude and lewd fashion, thanks in major part to Ian McShane’s Al Swearangen character. Walton Goggins (Boyd Crowder from “Justified”) would be perfect to replace McShane.
• “Saving Grace,” TNT (2007-10): I was mesmerized by this series after stumbling across it 15 years ago. Holly Hunter. The plot focused on Grace Hanadarko (Hunter), a heavy-drinking and promiscuous Oklahoma City detective. In the series opener, Grace meets up with her “last-chance” angel when, after a night of drinking, she runs down and kills a pedestrian with her Porsche. In desperation, she calls out for God’s help; and a scruffy, tobacco-spitting man, who calls himself Earl (Leon Rippy), appears. I would cast Jennifer Lawrence or Dakota Fanning as Grace, with Keanu Reeves or Morgan Freeman as Earl.

2. More great names of boats that I personally find hilarious:

• Sea Ya
• Vitamin Sea
• Water U Lookin’ At
• Ship Happens
• Aquaholic
• Aweigh From Wife
• Hypnautic
• Sea Wiener
• Yeah Buoy
• Tax Sea-vation
• The Wet Dream
• Bullship
• Master Baiter
• Sotally Tober
• Cirrhosis of the River

3. The most popular colors for U.S. cars, according to iSeeCars.com:

• 1. White: 23.9 percent.
• 2. Black: 23.2 percent.
• 3. Gray: 15.5 percent.
• 4. Silver: 14.5 percent.
• 5. Red: 10.3 percent.
• 6. Blue: 9.0 percent.
• 7. Brown: 1.4 percent.
• 8. Green: 0.7 percent.

The top four choices are all from the same color family and represent more than 77 percent of all American cars.

Steve Thought O’ The Day
Steve once owned an orange car. Since living in Quincy he’s driven dark red, green and silver vehicles.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. When Ted Shackleford was picked to be Gary Ewing on the original cast of “Knots Landing,” Steve was the second choice. So we’ve heard.