Daily Dirt: Time waits for no man, not even Samuel L. Jackson or Jennifer Aniston

Daily Dirt for Friday, Oct. 21, 2022

Wait, Elaine is 61? Say it ain’t so! … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 430 of The Daily Dirt.

1. If you’re like me, it’s always hard to accept your favorite TV and movie personalities are aging. I always expected Tom Cruise to remain 25 and for Denzel Washington to be 39 forever. But we all know it simply doesn’t work that way.

For example, I may feel like I’m still 30 years old, but when I look in the mirror or go to get out of bed in the morning I quickly realize Father Time has been a cruel conductor of my life’s journey.

Which brings us to today’s first thought. How many of you truthfully realized the following celebrities are the following ages?

• Tom Hanks: The well-respected actor turned 66 over the summer, and unlike many of his contemporaries, Hanks seems to get better with age.
• Denzel Washington: Although he’s aged quite well, Washington is now 67.
• Morgan Freeman: Speaking of aging quite well, Freeman is an incredible 85 and has given no hint that he may be retiring.
• John Travolta: He may be 68, but he’ll always be Vinnie Barbarino.
• Kevin Costner: He’s 67 and going strong, thanks to the success of “Yellowstone.”
• Woody Harrelson: He’s 61, which is extremely tough to believe. I still picture him as the goofy young bartender on “Cheers” back in the 1980s.
• Tom Cruise: He turned 60 in July and still does most of his own stunts.
• George Clooney: I always thought that Clooney, now 61, would have been a great James Bond.
• Samuel L. Jackson: Who doesn’t like Jackson, his movies or his commercials? And for those counting, he’s now 73.
• Jerry Seinfeld: At age 68, he’s worth a gazillion dollars but is still doing stand-up comedy. I admire that. (And I’m still waiting for a “Seinfeld” reunion show.)
• Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Speaking of “Seinfeld,” Elaine was always my second-favorite character. Louis-Dreyfus is now 61.
• Clint Eastwood: The Man is 92 and continues to both direct and act.
• Tim Allen: Probably the funniest 69-year-old on the planet.
• Meryl Streep: The 73-year-old Streep has won three Oscars and probably should have won at least three more.
• Jennifer Aniston: She can’t be 53, can she? 
• Jim Carrey: The comedian is now 60 and hasn’t been funny since he was 40.
• Eddie Murphy: He’s now 61 and followed Carrey’s path of not being funny for quite some time. 
• Al Pacino: I would guess that even at 82, Pacino could still play “Scarface” with great success.
• Jennifer Lopez: Put some clothes on, J-Lo. You’re 53.
• Keanu Reeves: Honestly, I have enjoyed most of his work … but at age 58 I think it’s time to get a big-boy haircut.

2. Fun fact: The Federal Aviation Administration reports that as much as $58 million in change is left behind on airplanes every year. That’s how much coinage is found in seats from the more than 16 million flights the FAA coordinates. 

3. The closer we get to November, the closer we get to crunch time in college football. Here’s our rankings this week:

• 1. Ohio State (6-0): Quarterback C.J. Stroud has thrown 68 touchdown passes since the start of the 2021 season. This week: Ohio State 49, Iowa 3. Start the countdown until the Nov. 26 game with Michigan.
• 2. Georgia (7-0): Mark it down now. The Bulldogs and Tennessee meet Nov. 5. This week: Idle. Kirby Smart is 73-15 as Georgia coach, and five of those losses came in his first year (2016).
• 3. Michigan (7-0): OK, this hurts to say, but Michigan is much better than I expected it to be a month ago. That late November meeting with Ohio State will likely be the latest game of the century. This week: Idle. Michigan State next on Oct. 29.
• 4. Tennessee (6-0): Congrats to the Vols for the big (and exciting) win over Alabama, but before you jump on to that orange and white bandwagon, that game may have shown more of Alabama’s shortcomings than Tennessee’s strengths. That’s the same Tennessee team that was fortunate to have beaten Florida (38-33) and Pitt (34-27). Oct. 29 vs. Kentucky might be the Vols’ key test. This week: Tennessee 76, UT-Martin 3. Yawnnnnn …
• 5. Alabama (5-1): The Tide will rebound, no doubt, but they won’t make the four-team CFB playoff. This week: Alabama 24, Mississippi State 20. This will be no walk in the park for the Tide.
• 6. Clemson (7-0): Tigers have yet to post a meaningful or impressive win, so the jury remains out. This week: Clemson 28, Syracuse 6. And the jury will still be out.
• 7-10: Still doesn’t matter. The national champ is coming from one of the six aforementioned schools. Make that the top four of those six aforementioned schools. 

Steve Thought O’ The Day
I still can’t believe Jennifer Aniston is 53.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. What’s more amazing: Jennifer Aniston’s age or that Steve has ranked Ohio State No. 1?