DAILY DIRT: Christmastime would not be Christmastime without Darlene Love

There are some great contemporary Christmas songs, and then there is “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney and Wings. Ugh … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 477 of The Daily Dirt.

1. We’re less than two weeks away from Christmas, which means Steve is singing Christmas songs in the mancave.

These are three of Steve’s contemporary holiday favorites:

Gold medal: “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home),” by Darlene Love. This song actually dates to 1963 and remains the most festive holiday song ever, and Love’s interpretation is impeccable. Incredibly, Love is now 81 years old and still belting out hits like this. Remember when David Letterman would have her on his show every year just to sing this song?

Silver medal: “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” by Band Aid: This was the 1984 reaction to the Ethiopian famine, with contributions from Phil Collins, Sting, Bono and many others. “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” stayed at the top spot on the charts for five weeks.

Bronze medal: “Sleigh Ride,” by the Ronettes: Vocalist Ronnie Spector at her absolute holiday finest. Sadly, we lost Ronnie just about a year ago at age 78 — but her music will live forever.

2. And these three contemporary Christmas songs are definitely not among Steve’s favorites. In fact, he can’t stand them:

Gold medal: “Wonderful Christmastime,” by Paul McCartney and Wings. The very first time I heard this song way back in 1979 I swear my skin actually crawled. This is one of those songs that immediately causes me to change channels.

Silver medal: “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” by Mariah Carey and Justin Bieber. At the time of the recording, Mariah Carey was 41, Justin Bieber 17. No. Just no.

Bronze medal: “Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town,” by Bruce Springsteen. First of all, I’ve been a long-time admirer of The Boss and his music — just not this one. Bruce’s Neanderthal-esque style that is so appealing on many of his songs simply doesn’t transform to this or any other holiday offering.

3. Welcome to the “Thursday Three Spot” with Geoff Eighinger: 

Happy Thursday, MudMob! Your favorite Eighinger is back with my NFL Top Five and other usual nonsense.

You have probably noticed that we Eighingers love to rate, rank, rock and roll. Today, I want to discuss the CBS game show Survivor. Over the last couple months, I’ve been watching every season from the beginning and have come up with a plethora of reasons why I would never survive a day on that show. In addition to today’s NFL rankings, I present to you my “Top Five Reasons Why I Would Never Survive Survivor”: 

• 5. An hour without my phone and I’m searching for a reason to go on living. 
• 4. No shower = no Geoff. 
• 3. I don’t do heavy lifting. 
• 2. I’m not sleeping in a shelter made of palm fronds next to seven other people. 
• 1. I can’t swim! 

And now, my NFL Top Five:

5. Dallas Cowboys (10-3) Last week: 2

The Battle of Texas came down to the end on Sunday and almost saw Dallas lose to the lowly Houston Texans. 

4. Kansas City Chiefs (10-3) Last week: 4

How did Denver give the boys from KC such a tough game? One of many stud teams that squeaked by with a victory this past week. 

3. San Francisco 49ers (9-4) Last week: NR

Six straight wins and a new quarterback? Brock Purdy continued to roll at quarterback where the now-injured Jimmy G left off. San Fran now seems unstoppable. 

2. Buffalo Bills (10-3) Last week: 5

A quality divisional win against the Jets puts Buffalo comfortably atop the AFC East. Momentum is on its side after four consecutive wins. 

1. Philadelphia Eagles (12-1) Last week: 1

The first team to clinch a playoff spot after manhandling its little brother in East Rutherford. QB Jalen Hurts has put together an incredible season and will be hard to stop down the stretch.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Those large, salted pretzels available at Sonic are life-changing.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. I love it when he goes third person.