DAILY DIRT: Don’t fret. There’s still National Spam and Squirrel Appreciation days

January 2, 2023 | By Steve Eighinger, Muddy River News Minister of Culture and Doctor of Love

There’s more to this month than New Year’s and football … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 490 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Let’s be honest.

After New Year’s Day, we’re all kind of burnt out on the holiday thing … until probably Valentine’s Day when we (as in the male portion of the population that has “husband” or “boyfriend” attached to our names) are bound by law to buy candy, flowers and other assorted items for our better halves. But that’s another thought for another day.

I feel it is my responsibility to remind of you of some important celebrations during the remainder of January — and before Valentine’s Day arrives. Holidays are all important, and to miss one is not an option just because we are worn down from all the Christmas and New Year’s celebrating.

So consider today’s first thought a public duty. I feel it’s my responsibility to inform you of the following celebrations in waiting:

Jan. 2: “National Stop Spam Day”: The computer email thing, or the alleged food product?
Jan. 3: “Festival of Sleep Day”: Actually, I celebrate this 365 days a year.
Jan. 4: “National Spaghetti Day”: Everyone to Tiramisu!
Jan. 7: “Old Rock Day”: A celebration of minerals … or a celebration of the Rolling Stones?
Jan. 17: “National Ditch New Year’s Resolutions Day”: Seriously, it should not take until Jan. 17 to accomplish this task.
Jan. 21: “Squirrel Appreciation Day”: Really, who doesn’t appreciate those little firry guys?
Jan. 26: “National Spouse’s Day”: Oh great, more candy and flowers.
Jan. 28: “National Have Fun at Work Day”: Hey, every day is a fun day Muddy River News.
Jan. 29: “National Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day”: Admit it, we all love popping those little bubbles. This is a perfect excuse to have a holiday — with pay, of course.

2. I found the following information quite interesting.

It came from a report in The Athletic about how more positional players are being used these days as pitchers in one-sided MLB games. The following totals reflect the increase in the number of hits those positional players have allowed over the years:

1982: 0 hits
1992: 1 home run
2002: 1 single, 1 home run
2012: 9 singles, 6 doubles, 2 home runs
2022: 132 singles, 42 doubles, 2 triples, 48 home runs

3. Our most interesting birthdays:

Singer Pat Benatar turns 70 on Jan. 10. Go ahead, hit me with your best shot.
Comedian/actor Jim Carrey reaches 61 on Jan. 17. Remember when he used to be funny?
Country music star Ronnie Milsap will be 80 on Jan. 16. He’s had 35 No. 1 songs in a long and distinguished career.
Television personality Oprah Winfrey celebrates No. 69 on Jan. 29. She’s the second most-famous Big O ever. Oscar Robertson, of course, will always be No. 1.
TV host Steve Harvey turns 65 on Jan. 17. He’s the hilarious master of ceremonies on “Family Feud.”

Steve Thought O’ The Day — It’s Jan. 2 and I think I’ve already failed when it comes to all of the New Year’s resolutions I made. All. Of. Them.