DAILY DIRT: At the age of 60, Snoop Dogg will be 420 in dog years … and other deep thoughts

I think I need my first snack of the day. You’ll understand more in a minute … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 508 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Welcome to Monday and a new week.

To enlighten your day — or make it worse, depending on your view — grab a cup of coffee and consider the following. Warning: some of the following may cause a headache.

• At the age of 60, Snoop Dogg will be 420 in dog years.
• Did you ever think about college students being simultaneously stereotyped for not getting enough sleep and sleeping too much?
• Did you ever think how much it must suck to be an air conditioner repairman? You spend your days working in buildings that have no air conditioning, and then when it’s fixed … you leave.
• When we were young, we sneaked out of the house to go to parties. But since we’ve become old(er), we sneak out of parties to go home.
• There is probably a tree growing out there somewhere that will eventually provide wood for your coffin.
• Security at airports is high level everywhere except the baggage claim. Then it’s take whatever you want.
• If you had an identical twin and he or she got plastic surgery, would you be insulted?
• Did you ever think that we use tables to keep food off the floor, table cloths to keep food off the tables, placemats to keep food off the table cloths, and plates to keep food off the placemats?
• Have you ever noticed how easy it is to fall asleep on a couch, unless you actually want to fall asleep on a couch?
• Is making a typo in an online argument the equivalent of your voice cracking in a verbal argument?

I warned you that you might get a headache …

2. We have one new entry on the medal stand this week in the early going of Year 2 of the The Great Plate Debate in West-Central Illinois and Northeast Missouri.

STARVED and 4 CASTR hold steady in the gold and silver positions, but ITS ZEE 1 knocked out CAR NO 18 for the current bronze medal.

Gold medal: STARVED. It’s going to take a great, great plate to knock this one off the gold stand.

Silver medal: 4 CASTR. This one’s solid, too, but hall of fame material like our gold buddy.

Bronze medal: ITS ZEE 1. I have a feeling this one’s life span on the medal stand will be short. That doesn’t mean it’s not funny, though.

This week’s honorable mention

• GO SING
• L 10 TEN
• TRIP 41
• PAL GAL
• 2 TOWNE

3. Here’s some food for thought, no pun intended.

According to studyfinds.org, the exact minute of the day when most Americans get a craving for a snack is 2:37 p.m.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — There are days when I need a snack every hour. There are also days I need one every 15 minutes.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He really is our own Andy Rooney.