DAILY DIRT: How about some ttongsul, and wash it down with a glass of gomutra?

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Runny poo = wine? No thanks!

Daily Dirt for Thursday Feb. 16, 2023

I’ve never been able to come to terms that one day way back when someone thought drinking cow urine and/or downing some baby poop would be good for you … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 530 of The Daily Dirt.

1. If you’re a regular reader of The Daily Dirt — and we hope you are — I’m pretty certain that you are aware that since we started this venture back in late summer of 2021 that we have a strange fascination with disgusting food items from around the world.

In recent days I have been perusing back editions of The Daily Dirt to try and find the one most nauseating item that has been featured in this space. And I think I have found it.

How many of you remember reading about a little delicacy called “ttongsul?” This was highlighted back in August 2022, and personally, I think it is probably the most stomach-churning entry to date. Let’s review:

Ttongsul: This little dandy is from South Korea is technically categorized as a wine and is also considered medicinal. Ttongsul consists of poop from a human child between 4 and 7 years old, refrigerated for 3-4 days, mixed with water and about 9 percent alcohol, divided into pieces and fermented overnight. There is reportedly a strong fecal odor. Well, duh. The yellow-brownish liquid is strained and looks like a combination of sewer slime and vomit, potentially with small pieces of poop still floating around. The gag-inducing liquid reportedly reportedly dates to hundreds of a years ago.

A close runner-up, also in the “wine” category, might be:

Gomutra: We can thank India for this contribution. Gomutra is cow urine and is also consumed for therapeutic purposes. The urine of a pregnant cow is considered especially helpful in treating psoriasis, leprosy, fevers, liver ailments an cancer. Oh, and it is also used to clean floors. Seriously.

So … the next time you find yourself complaining about something from a local retaurant, just be grateful that whatever you ordered was not accompanied by spme ttongsul or gomutra.  

2. The Great Plate Debate Update for West-Central Illinois and Northeast Missouri marches on, and while it was an interesting week perusing the streets and parking lots for new entries, the medal stand remains the same for a third straight week: 

Gold medal: BATLADY. Last week in this space I suggested Jennifer Aniston would be the perfect Batlady in a movie. Others have emailed or told me their choices, which include Scarlett Johannson, Kaley Cuoco, Jennifer Connelly, Julianne Moore, Natalie Portman, Jessica Alba, Nicole Kidman, Salma Hayek, Rachel McAdams, Emma Stone, Sarah Jessica Parker, Queen Latifah, Lucy Liu, Sandra Bullock and Zooey Deschanel.

Silver medal: STARVED. Which, of course, reminds me of food. Which brings me to the question — best coneys in Quincy? I think my pick would be Lucky Dogs at 18th and State.

Bronze medal:4 CASTR. My favorite weather guy on the national stage may be Jim Cantore of The Weather Channel. He’s one of the guys they send to the worst possible places at the worst possible times in the worst possible conditions..

This week’s honorable mention: ROG, MULES 7, IDELST 2, ARROW 67, PAT T 100, 1 WIZZR, 2 RBOOM.

3. These are our five celebrity birthdays of the week:

  • The greatest NFL running back ever, Jim Brown, is 87 on Friday.
  • Former reality TV star Paris Hilton turns 42 on Friday.
  • Singer Ed Sheeran is 42, also on Friday.
  • Actress Cybil Shepherd will be 73 on Saturday. I was madly in love with her back in 1972 when I saw her in “The Heartbreak Kid.”
  • Former NBA player and current analyst extraordinaire Charles Barkley will be 60 on Monday. Thirty seconds of whatever Charles says is still 10 times more valuable than anything offered from fellow analysts Shaquille O’Neal or Kenny Smith.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — I can’t believe Cybil Shepherd is 73. 

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. His gross outs are our gross outs.

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