DAILY DIRT: Jerry had quite the collection of girlfriends

The more I think about it, the more I think I would rank Teri Hatcher No. 1 … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 636 of The Daily Dirt.

1. If you’re a longstanding fan of “Seinfeld” — yes, the show “about nothing” — it will come as no surprise to remind you that our boy Jerry was pretty much a playboy when it came to women.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Jerry never warmed up to commitment when it came to the opposite sex, which helps explain the many girlfriends he had on the show during its nine-year run. But just how many different girlfriends did our boy have?

Would you believe 60? Six-oh.

Many of that number were not around for more than a single show, and many of those one-night stands went on to much bigger and better things in show business. Here’s a look back at some of my favorite exes of Jerry who became household names of their own post-“Seinfeld”:

Jamie Gertz: She played “Jane,” a paper goods saleswoman by day, phone sex worker by night. Gertz went to become one of the leading actresses of the 1990s, and along with husband, Tony Roessler, is now a part-owner of the Atlanta Hawks of the NBA.

Marlee Matlin: All sorts of chaos erupted before Jerry realized “Laura” was deaf. Since her time on “Seinfeld,” Matlin has appeared in a wide range of programs and became an advocate and celebrity ambassador for the Americans with Disabilities Act, even signing the “Star-Spangled Banner” during Super Bowl XLI.

Debra Messing: She played “Beth” before graduating to bigger and better things as part of the “Will and Grace” cast.

Lori Loughlin: Loughlin, who was “Patty” on “Seinfeld,” was once admired in “90210” as Debbie Wilson and dear Aunt Becky on “Full House” and its sequel, “Fuller House”. These days, her daughter’s 2019 college admissions bribery scandal has left the actress’s name tarnished.

Courtney Cox: Soon after “Meryl” concluded her brief relationship with Jerry, she landed her gig on “Friends.” The rest, as they say, is history.

Teri Hatcher: She played Sidra, who informed Jerry “they’re real and they’re spectacular.” Hatcher went on to star opposite Superman actor, Dean Cain, in “Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman” and with Andrew Dice Clay in “Brain Smasher: A Love Story”.  She later starred in ABC’s “Desperate Housewives.”

2. Have you ever wondered why so many people are addicted to Facebook? Well, this week’s best of “Found on Facebook” items might help answer that question:

• “Let’s all take a moment and be thankful that spiders don’t fly.”
• “Chicks dig scars. Pain is temporary. Glory is forever.”
• “Greg Maddux walked no batters in 236 of his career starts. If that sounds insane, it’s because it is.”
• “I often wonder who Pete is, and why we do things for his sake.”
• “We must all do our bit for the planet. I unplugged a row of electric cars that no one was using.”

3. We have a new addition — PIZZA 4EV — to the medal stand for the Great Plate Debate of 2023 in West-Central Illinois and Northeast Missouri. Here’s our updated license-plate award winners:

• Gold medal: U LIED.
• Silver medal: STINK.
• Bronze medal: PIZZA 4EV
• Aluminum medal: 1 ELVIS
• Cardboard medal: BATLADY

The week’s honorable mentions:

• SOLD U 3
• BEERS 7
• SHURLY
• A HUM 1
• GUS 59
• TRA CZ 1
• D UNIT
• HAPPY 45
• DER DER 0

Steve Thought O’ The Day — I have often wondered who Pete is/was, too.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Don’t call him Shurly.