Your weekend Double Dose of Dirt

Daily Dirt for Aug. 14, 2021
‘Andy Griffith’ was not only a great show, but its theme song was the best ever

By Steve Eighinger, Muddy River News Minister of Culture

Let’s take a trip down memory lane with the most memorable TV theme songs. And for good measure, we’ll also include the worst. All of that and more in Vol. 37 of the Daily Dirt:

1. The most iconic TV show theme songs are the following:
A. “The Andy Griffith Show” (1960-68): Yes, there were never any known words to this classic tune, but who hasn’t been walking down the street and out of nowhere break into that classic whistling? The actual whistler was a man named Earle H. Hagen, who died at age 88 in 2008. The formal name of the tune was “The Fishin’ Hole,” which actually did have lyrics. Just my opinion, but the use of those lyrics would have spoiled the song and that classic intro where Andy and Opie were walking to … The Fishin’ Hole. Ahh, life was so much simpler then.

B. “Green Acres” (1965-71): The theme song was almost as good as the program, which starred Eddie Albert, Eva Gabor and a talented supporting cast. “Green Acres is the place to be, farm livin’ is the life for me …”

C. “Cheers” (1982-1993): Yes, we still like to go “where everybody knows our name.” The Cheers theme song was recorded by Gary Portnoy.

 D. “The Addams Family” (1964-66): The story of a very strange, but very loving group. They were creepy and kookie, mysterious and spooky …

E. “Happy Days” (1974-84): The Pratt and McClain song was so popular at the time, it reached No. 5 on the Billboard Hot 100.

2. Speaking of TV theme songs, here are my five worst:

A. “The Beverly Hillbillies” (1962-71): At first, it was kind of cute. By midway through the first season of the show it was like fingernails on the proverbial chalkboard.

B. “Gilligan’s Island” (1964-67): Ditto.

C. “The Brady Bunch” (1969-74): Ugh. Simply ugh.

D. “All in the Family” (1971-79): Great, great show. Nauseating song.

E. “Laverne and Shirley” (1976-83): The only thing worse than this show was the theme song.

3. Memorable quotes from memorable rock icons:

Steven Tyler, Aerosmith: “We believed in anything worth doing was worth overdoing.”

David Lee Roth, Van Halen: “I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”

Ian “Lemmy” Kilmister, Motorhead: “A kid once said to me, ‘Do you get hangovers?’ I said, ‘To get hangovers you have to stop drinking.'”

Yep, that pretty much sums up life in the fast lane.

Daily Dirt for Aug. 15, 2021
There are days when we can all use a little Bugs Bunny

By Steve Eighinger, Muddy River News Minister of Culture

Some deep thoughts to help us all through another day. Welcome to Vol. 38 of the Daily Dirt:

1. Have you ever woke up one morning and wondered what the heck life was all about? I think we’ve all been there. When one of those days rolls around, here’s a few thoughts to fall back on. I’d say clip-and-save them, but we’re talking about a computer screen here, so just print them out. It will be less costly:

A. “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” — Mae West. (The former actress died in 1980 at age 88, but was always considered to be way ahead of the times she lived in.)

B. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” — Winston Churchill. (Raise your hand if you have enjoyed some success in life. Raise your other hand if you have endured failure. Are you still moving forward? Join the crowd.)

C. “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” — Walt Disney. (I’ve always had that first part mastered, but the second is an ongoing effort …)

D. “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take,” — Wayne Gretzky. (Muddy River News is a prime example. A few months ago we weren’t even around.)

E. “Watch me paste that pathetic palooka with a powerful, pachydermous, percussion pitch.” — Bugs Bunny. (OK, this is not really deep or meaningful. It’s simply Bugs Bunny, and there are some days when we can all use a little of Bugs Bunny.”

2. You’re strolling through Hy-Vee or County Market and need some Gatorade. What are your three favorite flavors you must choose from? Mine are:

A. Lemon lime.

B. Orange.

C. Kiwi Strawberry.

3. Those who have enjoyed dirt-track racing at Quincy Raceways over the years are probably equally frustrated and angry that the site has set dormant for almost two years. At this point, it’s useless to point fingers at any individuals or failed business plans. Both would be useless. The bottom line as you read this is whether or not it will ever re-open — or be sold off for farmland or some other enterprise. My guess if some transaction is not completed by next spring we may never again sit in the grand stands at 8000 Broadway on a hot summer night. Paul Holtschlag, who owns the 28.5-acre property, can only wait for a buyer so long. He will have to move on, and that time is drawing closer.

Steve Eighinger is the Minister of Culture for Muddy River News. He loves the nightlife. He loves to boogie.