Daily Dirt: Thanksgiving calorie totals are merely a suggestion for Steve

Daily Dirt for Wednesday, Nov. 22, 2023

And when I say three pieces of pie, I actually mean about five … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 789 of The Daily Dirt.

1. One day until Turkey Day!

Have you ever wondered, while consuming enormous amounts of food on Thanksgiving, how many calories were involved? (Yeah, me neither. But I do like numbers, so you know what’s coming next.)

Well, here’s a sampling:

• 8 ounces of turkey: 480 calories.
• 1 cup serving of mashed potatoes and gravy: 257 calories.
• 1 cup of stuffing: 350 calories.
• 1 cup of cranberry sauce: 257 calories.
• 1 slice of pumpkin pie: 350 calories.
• 1 Mountain Dew: 170 calories.
• Total: 2,034 calories.

I read where men should shoot for about 2,500 calories per day, and women around 2,000.

Hmmm … it’s time to be honest with one another again. First and foremost, there’s no way most of us will be limited to those initial calorie totals above. For starters, I’m good for about three pieces of pie and that alone sends me above and beyond any of those projections. I’ll also be having seconds of turkey (white meat only) and taters. 

So just count me in for about a minimum of 3,500 calories.

Maybe I’ll skip supper Thursday night to balance things out.

2. I can name more Taylor Swift boyfriends than Taylor Swift songs.

3. Here’s what I “Found on Facebook” on this Thanksgiving Eve:

• “Don’t forget to turn you bathroom scales back 15 pounds at 1 a.m. tonight for Thanksgiving.”
• “Want to get back on your feet? Just miss two car payments.”
• “I was once so broke I could not pay my electric bill. Those were the darkest days of my life.”
• “Americans don’t like cheaters.” (Shannon Sharpe taking a well-deserved shot at Jim Harbaugh and Michigan football.)
• “Never buy a horse on when you’re drunk.” (Not sure what the story is behind this one.)

Steve Thought O’ The Day
There are now clam-flavored candy canes. Let that sink in.