Daily Dirt: Cool names, calories and college football — yee hah!

August 26, 2021 | By Steve Eighinger, Minister of Culture

Daily Dirt for Aug. 26, 2021

Vol. 48 of the Daily Dirt tackles a wide variety of items — cool names, calories and college football. Let’s roll.A. Rock bands. Automobiles, Movie stars. The cooler the name, the better chance for success. Today we’re interested in the movie stars.

A. Here are my picks for the 10 best names of movie stars:

1. Vin Diesel: The “Fast and Furious” series star was born Mark Sinclair. I’m pretty sure he made the right choice with that name change.

2. Jean-Claude Van Damme: The absolute perfect moniker for an action star. Bam! Smack! Ooof! Van Damme was born Jean-Claude Camille Franbcois Van Varenburg. A native of Belgium, he has long carried the title of “The Muscles from Brussels.”

3. Rip Torn: The late, great character actor entered the world as Elmore Rual Torn Jr.

4. Slim Pickens: Yes, that was his real name. In the early part of his life, Pickens was an actual cowboy. In the latter part, he regularly played a cowhand in western films.

5. Pierce Brosnan: The perfect name for a … ummm… secret agent?

6. Ricardo Montalban: Much of his career he was the epitome of Latin elegance, charm and grace, and he had the perfect name to compliment all of that.7. Liam Neeson: Before becoming a movie star, he was a forklift operator and truck driver. The name if more befitting the action star he became than it would have an overnight hauler.

8. Zsa Zsa Gabor: One of the famed Gabor clan, and arguably the least talented but best remembered — all because of that name. For the record, her real name was Sari.

9. Bela Lugosi: He appeared in 23 different horror movies. Lugosi had the perfect voice, the perfect look … and the perfect name for such roles. He was born Bela Ferenc Dezso Blasko.

10: Honeysuckle Weeks: Yes, that’s her real name. She’s been in a few minor films, but no breakthrough performance yet.

B. Ever wonder how the various 12-ounce cans of soda stack up with one another when it comes to calorie counts? This may help:

Orange Crush, 195 calories

A&W Root Beer, 180 calories

Mountain Dew, 170 calories

Mountain Dew Code Red, 170 calories

Barq’s Root Beer, 160 calories

Fanta Orange, 160 calories-

Wild Cherry Pepsi, 160 calories

Cherry Coca-Cola, 150 calories

Pepsi, 150 calories

Sierra Mist, 150 calories

Dr. Pepper, 150 calories

7-Up, 150 calories

Vanilla Coca-Cola, 150 calories

Sprite, 140 calories

Coca-Cola Classic, 140 calories

Canada Dry Ginger Ale, 135 calories

Figures are according to the medlineplus.gov website.

C. Here’s my top 10 college football teams heading into the season:

1. Alabama: There is no rebuilding for the Tide. They simply reload.

2. Oklahoma: Speaking of names (see above, in case you skipped the first part …), Sooners quarterback Spencer Rattler may possess the best name in all of college football.

3. Ohio State: Once the Buckeyes figure out a starting quarterback from an unprecedented group of 5-star prospects, Ohio State could very well emerge as the top team in the nation. They are loaded on both sides of the ball.

4. Clemson: How long will it be until Dabo Swinney says something he will regret?

5. Georgia: Some day, Bulldogs coach Kirby will win a national title. It just won’t be this year.

6. Iowa State: It’s just a matter of time until Cyclones coach Matt Campbell lands one of the nation’s premier jobs. 7. Cincinnati: Same with the Bearcats’ Luke Fickell.

8. Texas A&M: Aggies open against Kent State. They might hang a hundred on the poor Flashes.

9. North Carolina: How many college football fans actually understand — and appreciate — how great of a job Mack Brown has done resurrecting the Tar Heels?

10. Oregon: The Ducks’ Sept. 11 matchup with Ohio State should be a dandy.

11. Missouri: Publisher’s addendum. JRG