DAILY DIRT: So … if you’ve always thought the Duke actually said it, does that make you … stupid?

W.C. Fields may have nailed the best overall philosophy concerning life. Be patient, just keep reading … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 809 of The Daily Dirt.

1. One of the favorite movie lines that until recently I thought belonged to the late John Wayne is, “Life is hard. It’s harder if you’re stupid.”

For years, I thought the Duke had said this, specifically in the 1949 war film “Sands of Iwo Jima.” Multiple sources, including the popular IMDB movie site, attributed it to him in the role of Marine Sgt. John M. Stryker.

But not so fast, my friends.”No character in ‘Sands of Iwo Jima,’ Sgt. Stryker or otherwise, speaks such a line,” wrote David Mikkelson for snopes.com. “And no one has yet turned up a film clip or script documenting the phrase as something spoken by a Wayne character in any other movie.”

So where did the phrase come from? 

“The earliest known cinematic use of this thought appears in the 1973 crime film, ‘The Friends of Eddie Coyle,’ which was in turn based on the 1970 novel of the same name by George V. Higgins,” according to Mikkelson. “The book’s title character is an aging small-time criminal and informant who works as a gun runner in Boston’s Irish-American underworld, but it is another character, the young gun runner Jackie Brown, who ends up saying, ‘This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid’. 

“That line comes through almost intact in the film version, rendered by actor Steven Keats (playing Jackie Brown) as ‘This life’s hard, man, but it’s harder if you’re stupid’.”

So there you have it, John Wayne fans. The Duke may not have voiced those famous words, but they sure sound like he did, right?

2. Speaking of memorable lines, how about the following to fill out that proverbial top 10 of all-time one-liners?

• “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” — Jerry Seinfeld.
• “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” — Mae West.
• “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” — Marilyn Monroe.
• “In real life, I assure you there is no such thing as algebra.” — Fran Lebowitz.
• “Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen.
• “When in doubt, look intelligent.” — Garrison Keillor.
• “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” — Rod Stewart.
• “Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” — Samuel L. Jackson.
• “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.” — W.C. Fields.

3.  Let’s wrap up today with a combination of deep thoughts and an interesting fact or two:

• No matter what happens, pizza will always be there for you. Thick or thin, in crust we trust.
• The most expensive vehicle to operate during the past year? The shopping kart.
• Current NFL MVP favorite, San Francisco quarterback Brock Purdy, said on his current salary he would have to play for 805 years to make what Shohei Ohtani will over the next 10 years. Ohtani signed a 10-year, $700 million deal a few days ago.
• “I think youngsters need to start thinking about kind of world they are going to leave for me and Keith Richards.” — Willie Nelson.
• At some point, Subway convinced us all it’s healthy to eat a whole loaf of bread in one sitting.
• Ron Wright played his one and only MLB game in 2002 and recorded three at-bats. He struck out, hit into a double play and grounded into a triple play.

Steve Thought O’ The Day —Without question, I think the worst idea for a holiday treat is the possum-flavored candy canes being offered by the Archie McPhee Co. A close second might be the bologna/ramen noodle cake I saw a picture of on Facebook.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. His deep thoughts usually extend to where he’s going for lunch.