Daily Dirt: ‘I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you’

Daily Dirt for Sept. 6, 2021

Vol. 59 of this daily adventure finds our three thoughts ranging from bad TV shows to advice to live by. Have a good day.

1. I’m sure we all have an opinion about this subject, but here are TV Guide’s worst programs from the mid-1960s to present:

1. “The Jerry Springer Show” (1991-ongoing): A bit harsh on this pick, I think. At its peak, few shows could match Jerry’s for pure entertainment. I used to spend many a late night watching Jerry and his bizarre guests.
2. “My Mother the Car” (1965-66): This was certainly deserving of No. 1 consideration. It was as stupid as the title might imply. But … I used to watch it.
3. “The Brady Bunch Variety Hour” (1975-76): If you thought the Brady Bunch was unwatchable, this was even worse.
4. “Hogan’s Heroes” (1965-71): To this day, I am amazed at how many oldtimers (my friends) who loved this program, which starred Bob Crane. It was horrible. For starters, it was a comedy that wasn’t funny.
5. “After M*A*S*H” (1973-75): Nice try, but this sequel never clicked.
6. “Cop Rock” (1990): This show was so bad, no comment is needed. The title says it all.
7. “Hee Haw Honeys” (1978-79): Kathie Lee Gifford was in this, which I had totally forgotten about. With this show, that was easy to do. It was (kind of) a country-themed variety effort. Kind of.
8. “The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer” (1998): I’ll let the synopsis of this show be my comment: “This misadventures of Abraham Lincoln, his loony associates and the only sane man among them, the president’s Black butler Desmond.” 
9. “Hello, Larry” (1989-90): I tried to watch this when it arrived on the TV schedule. Key word there is “tried.” McLean Stevenson was a talk-show radio host. Not only was the alleged comedy not funny, it wasn’t the least bit interesting. 
10. “Baby Bob” (2002-03): A 6-month-old kid who could actually talk. How could this go wrong?

2. I saw an interesting story a few days ago, penned by Austen Bechtold on bucsdugout.com, about the Pittsburgh Pirates fielding the first all-Black starting lineup in MLB history in September 1971 — 50 years ago this month.
Manager Danny Murtaugh penciled in this lineup:

1. Rennie Stennett, second base. (One of my favorite players from that era.)
2. Gene Clines, center field.
3. Roberto Clemente, right field. (The Great One would die later that year in a plane crash.)
4. Willie Stargell, left field.
5. Manny Sanguillen, catcher.
6. Dave Cash, third base. (Another of my personal favorites.)
7. Al Oliver, first base. (One of the most underrated bats in MLB history.)
8. Jackie Hernandez, shortstop.
9. Dock Ellis, starting pitcher.

The Pirates went on to win the World Series that season, defeating the Baltimore Orioles in seven games.

3. Ten thoughts to live by:

• “Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.”
• “The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.”
• “Have you ever noticed they begin the evening news with ‘Good evening,’ then proceed to tell you why it isn’t?”
• “I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.”
• “A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.”
• “You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.”
• “Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.”
• “You’re never too old to learn something stupid.”
• “Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.”
• “I thought I wanted a career. Turned out I just wanted paychecks.”

Steve Fact O’ the Day
I don’t think I could live without potato chips.

They may have been the worst TV shows in history, but Steve watched them all so he could tell you about them.