DAILY DIRT: ‘Our cities are teeming with other badge-bearing babes and jumpsuit journeymen’

Daily Dirt for Friday, April 12, 2024

According to DatingNews.com, it’s paramedics who can make our hearts swoon the most … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 917 of The Daily Dirt

1. Ahhh, those men and women in uniform.

They always seem to hold a special place in our heart, and at times it is for reasons above and beyond simple respect. We … umm … think they’re kind of cute.

The DatingNews.com website conducted a survey with 3,000 singles to try and uncover which uniformed professionals make them “weak at the knees”. The survey excluded the usual suspects like firefighters, police officers and military personnel.

“Sure, firefighters get hearts pumping with their ladder-climbing, cat-rescuing antics, decked out in gear that could make anyone swoon,” writes Lauren Grey of apricotcontent.com. “Yet, our cities are sustained by countless other uniformed professionals who, while they may not grace headlines as often, embody the virtues of dependability, diligence, and integrity. These are qualities that many singles seek in a partner. 

“From the bus driver who knows your stop by heart, and the postal worker braving rain or shine to deliver your mail, to those ever-vigilant security guards whose eyes sparkle more than their badges, our cities are teeming with other badge-bearing babes and jumpsuit journeymen working their everyday magic on the smitten singles of the city.”

Illinois respondents picked the following three medal-worthy professions that can make hearts skip a beat:

Gold medal: Paramedics: Grey says the allure of paramedics goes beyond their life-saving skills. Their calm under pressure, the ability to make life-altering decisions in the blink of an eye, and the compassion they exhibit in the face of adversity make them stand out. Their uniform is not just clothing; it’s a badge of selflessness and a readiness to serve. This combination of bravery, empathy, and the crispness of their medical attire can make hearts race as fast as the sirens on their ambulances.

Silver medal: Customs and Border Protection Officers: The uniforms of Customs and Border Protection Officers exude authority and the promise of safety, according to Grey. Their role as gatekeepers to the nation imbues them with an air of mystery and importance. The uniform commands respect and conveys a sense of power, responsibility, and national pride, which can be a deeply attractive combination.

Bronze medal: Postal Workers: Postal workers represent “a daily dose of reliability,” Grey feels. Clad in their distinctive uniforms, they are the messengers of joy, bearers of good news and gifts. There’s an undeniable charm to their consistency and the personal touch they often bring to their routes, knowing each household like the back of their hand. Their workwear, practical and instantly recognizable, signifies a connection to the community, making them a familiar and comforting sight.

Among other professions receiving a healthy amount of votes: Bus drivers, utility workers, train drivers, court bailiffs, correctional officers and street cleaners.

2. The latest and the greatest involving The Daily Dirt’s all-time hero, Mr. Chuck Norris:

• Chuck Norris does not lose weight, because he never loses.
• If you spell “Chuck Norris” in Scrabble, you win.
• Chuck Norris can see John Cena.
• Chuck Norris can put a fire with gasoline.
• Chuck Norris’s bellybutton is actually a power outlet.
• Chuck Norris can swipe left without touching his phone. He just shifts his eyes.
• If you want a list of Chuck Norris’s enemies, just check the extinct species list.
• Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
• Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
• Chuck Norris is the only man to defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

3. This thought is for a buddy of mine, local insurance agent Eric Ervin, who since I known him has been a fan of the Baltimore Orioles. 

Recent years were not kind to Eric, whose Orioles were absolutely horrible — until the 2023 breakthrough. If you’re am MLB fan, I’m sure you know how entertaining the Orioles are these days. That’s why I thought of Eric when I heard Boston Red Sox analyst Kevin Millar offer the following tribute earlier this week about the Orioles:

“There are not a whole lot of antics on (the Orioles),” Millar began. “They just play baseball, and they have a presence. They are a tough customer.”

And with most of the Orioles’ budding star players in the mid-20s, they’re going to a force for a long time in the American League East.

So, if you see Eric smiling these days, this is the reason.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — ESPN.com posted what it called its “MLB Watchability Index,” ranking all 30 big-league teams on what makes them appealing to watch — or not. Atop the list were the Los Angeles Dodgers, Baltimore Orioles and Atlanta Orioles. Other rankings included the No. 7 Chicago Cubs, No. 20 Kansas City Royals, No. 21 St. Louis Cardinals and No. 29 Chicago White Sox. (In case you were wondering, the Washington Nationals No. 30.) My only real complaint would be the Cubs at No. 7. Really?

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Wrigley Field is still why many people watch the Cubs.