DAILY DIRT: The 7-foot-7 Manute Bol reportedly never played a game sober in his NBA career

And you thought Michael, Magic, Larry and Charles were colorful characters … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 934 of The Daily Dirt.

1. The most interesting NBA player ever?

I know, Michael Jordan would probably be your first guess, but … wrong.

Magic Johnson? Larry Bird? Wrong. Wrong.

How about Charles Barkley, since you never know what he’ll say next. That’s true, but … also wrong.

We’re going with Manute Bol, the 7-foot-7 native of Sudan who played — albeit a bit awkwardly — in the NBA from 1985-95. He averaged 2.6 points 4.2 rebounds a game over his career.

So what made Bol so interesting, since it certainly wasn’t his raw numbers? Consider the following:

• According to reports, Bol never played a game sober during his decade the NBA. Teams allowed him to drink Heineken (all day, every day) in an effort to add some weight his rail-thin frame. He was allegedly always drunk during games.
• Bol was actually more than 50 years old when he played in the NBA. At a young age, he lost his birth certificate, so he slashed his forehead every five years to track his age. He had 11 scars while still in the NBA.
• He paid 80 cows for his first wife, part of the Sudanese marriage agreement. Bol ended up having two wives and 10 children.
• Bol eventually died in 2010 from acute kidney failure. He is buried in Sudan.

2. Did you know (Part 3) …

• That the late actor, Burt Reynolds, was a college roommate of future college football coach and TV analyst Lee Corso.
• That former all-pro quarterback Jim Kelly played college football at Miami (Fla.) with future pro wrestler Lex Luger, whose real name is Lawrence Pfohl.
• That Baltimore Ravens coach John Harbaugh was a college roommate at Miami (Ohio) with future pro wrestler Brian Pillman.
• That former wrestler Curt “Mr. Perfect” Hennig went to high school with fellow pro wrestlers Ravishing Rick Rude (Richard Rood) and Road Warrior Hawk (Michael Hegstrand).
• John F. Kennedy Jr. went to high school with future actor David Duchovny.

3. Based on pure poundage, here are the three largest animals in the world. Obviously, all three should be avoided at all cost. (The following info might win you a wager somewhere along the line, so you’re welcome in advance):

1. Blue Whale: These big boys can weigh as much as 220 tons, or 440,000 pounds. Despite their size, the blue whales are considered gentle and elusive. Of course, your definition of gentle is probably a key. 

2. African Elephant: It’s the largest land animal, with adult males weighing between five and seven tons. That’s as much as 14,000 pounds for the mathematically challenged. These animals are famous for their intelligence, memories and close family ties, and their long trunks serve as manipulation tools.

3. Hippopotamus: Considered one of the most dangerous animals in Africa, the hippo weighs up to three tons. Despite the rather hefty appearance, the hippo is unexpectedly agile, especially in water. The hippo’s massive size and territorial behavior make it a formidable opponent. The same has been said about me.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — The following may have been the greatest answer ever from a pro athlete. Tampa Bay reliever Pete Fairbanks was asked to assess a recent performance that saw him blow a would-be save: “I thought I generally sucked. It wasn’t a specific suck, it was an all-encompassing type of suck.” 

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He readily admits when he sucks too.