DAILY DIRT: Jim Carrey over Mike Myers? Tom Cruise over Kevin Bacon? Nahhh. David Letterman over Robert Hays? Well … maybe

And Frank Sinatra over Clint Eastwood? No way, shape or form … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 971 of The Daily Dirt.

1. What if … ?

What if a famous movie role had gone to another actor instead of the one we now associate with it? Would that film have been as big of a hit? Or possibly bigger? Or a major dud?

Consider the following:

“Dr. Evil” in the Austin Powers spy-spoof films was originally going to be Jim Carrey, not Mike Myers.

Would the parody of Ernst Stavro Blofeld from the James Bond series have worked as well — or better — with Carrey? 

My opinion: Carrey’s way-over-the-top approach would have been horrendous. Myers wound up being perfect and earned much-deserved critical acclaim.

Kevin Bacon’s role in “Footloose” had been designed for Tom Cruise. 

My opinion: Cruise is best served as an action star, not a modern-day Gene Kelly. There is no question in my mind Cruise would have been panned from one end of Hollywood to the other if he had been cast in this movie.

Before Clint Eastwood received the nod to play “Dirty Harry,” Frank Sinatra was the pick.

Oh boy … 

My opinion: Fortunately, someone with some authority realized Old Blue Eyes was at least a decade past his prime and could see Clint the Squint was a megastar of the future.

Leslie Nielsen was not the first choice to play Dr. Rumack in “Airplane”.

He was third in the pecking order behind Vincent Price and Christopher Lee.

My opinion: Once more, common sense prevailed. 

Speaking of “Airplane” …

Robert Hays’ role as pilot Ted Striker almost went to David Letterman or Caitlyn Jenner (back when she was Bruce Jenner).

My opinion: This is one where I mildly disagree with the final choice. I could see Letterman having become a huge star in a film of this nature.

2. We had no changes on the medal stand over the past week when it comes to the Great Plate Debate of 2024

Here’s the best license plates in West-Central Illinois and Northeast that we came across or were submitted:

• NOT BIG
• WOW FAM 5
• PKA PJA 2
• EAT BFF
• TIN SNL
• FAN 183
• GOOSE 74
• MR ZTO
• BUY AMC

The medalists remain:

Gold medal: U DRUNK

Silver medal: CO XIST

Bronze medal:  US-MALE

3. This week’s best of “Found on Facebook”:

• “And the doughnut stood there with a glazed look in his eyes.”
• “Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.”
• “Got me an emotional support pet. It’s a chicken. It’s crispy and it also came with a biscuit.”
• “Where the f— are Caitlin Clark’s teammates at? Protect the star.”
• “A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday, losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.”

Steve Thought O’ The Day — The more I think about it, the more I wonder why David Letterman was never able to move to motion pictures.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. If Dave had gotten “The Tonight Show” he’d probably still be doing it.