Remembering the unfortunate guy who hiccupped non-stop for 68 years

Daily Dirt for Wednesday, Aug. 14, 2024

Give or take, he hiccupped 430 million times during his life … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,029 of The Daily Dirt.

1. One of the most embarrassing occurrences — especially in public — is when a case of the hiccups arrives.

Well, for all the times you’ve had to say “excuse me” in a public setting, just be grateful you weren’t a guy named Charles Osborne. Good ole Chuck, who passed away in 1990, was afflicted with the most serious case of hiccups ever recorded — 68 years. That’s YEARS.

Here’s the sad story of Charles Osborne:

Osborne’s story began with an accident on June 13, 1922, in which he accidentally slipped and fell. His doctor later said he popped a blood vessel in his brain the size of a pin, and theorized that Osborne must have damaged the incredibly small area of the brain that controls and inhibits hiccups.

Osborne’s diaphragm spasmed 20 to 40 times a minute, on average, during his waking hours — meaning he hiccupped roughly 430 million times throughout his life. To cope with this never-before-seen disorder, Osborne learned breathing techniques that effectively masked his constant hiccupping. 

Later in life, Osborne appeared in magazines and on late-night TV shows to talk about his ailment. In 1978, Osborne told The Associated Press that he’d “give everything I got in the world if I could get rid of them.” Although he traveled the world in search of a cure — even offering $10,000 to anyone who could find one — the best he could do was cope with the affliction.

Finally, in 1990, his diaphragm suddenly ended its 68-year-long spasmodic episode on its own. Sadly, Osborne died less than a year later, but he was at least able to experience the final days of his life without the hiccups.

Here’s a few other hiccup-related facts:

• There are roughly 4,000 hospital admissions each year in the U.S. that are related to hiccups.
• The term “hiccup” can be traced as far back as 1570.
• Hiccups can be detected in human fetuses as early as eight weeks.

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: A spoonful of peanut butter usually stops hiccups, but I’m not a doctor. JRG

2. Did you know (Part 91)

• That Al Capone’s business card said he was a furniture dealer.
• That all 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of a $5 bill.
• That a snail can sleep for three years.
• That a dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
• That Leonardo da Vinci invented the scissors.

3. Found on Facebook

• “I never use turn signals. It’s nobody else’s business where I’m going.”
• “Stop saying, ‘They didn’t teach us that in school.’ Yes, they did. You were talking.”
• “Went to the bathroom without my phone … just like my ancestors used to do.”
• “What happens when you have a bladder infection? Urine trouble.”
• “In a span of 11 years, 115 people died in weightlifting accidents. In the same 11 years, only one person died eating a doughnut. Make good choices.”

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Saw this earlier in the week, and all I could say was, “Wow.”: In 2023, there were more Tommy John surgeries among MLB pitchers than in the entire decade of the 1990s.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Today’s pitchers are ruined.