DAILY DIRT: What fast foods are No. 1? Well, let’s start with the Culver’s ButterBurger

But let’s not forget that Fazoli’s Ultimate Sampler or those Burger King Onion Rings … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,044 of The Daily Dirt

Welcome to a special edition of The Daily Dirt.

Today we’re providing our go-to picks at fast-food franchises in the West-Central Illinois and Northeast Missouri area.

And remember, we’re dealing with only fast food sites, no personalized family-type and/or mom-and-pop restaurants. Those are an entirely different entity.

I’ve broken down our selections into three categories:

1. Sandwiches

Pretty self explanatory. Sandwiches are the heart and soul of the fast-food kingdom. 

Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Fish, etc.: Obviously, this is a rather wide category, but it would not be fair to include these in the same breakdown as “sandwiches”. I think this is the fairest process.

Sides: Once again, if The Daily Dirt tries to be anything it is fair, and it would not be that to include items such as fries, onion rings, etc., in the same breath as sandwiches or Italian, Mexican, Chinese and fish.

Special note: In this edition, we’re also not dealing with any desserts (those are for another day), soft drinks, shakes or smoothies. Oh, one other thing — no breakfast items either. Those, too, will be for another day.

Let’s start the debate!

• 1. Culver’s ButterBurger: Surprised this is No. 1? Don’t be. From the outside, it looks like a lot of fast-food burgers. It has cheddar cheese, onions, pickles, ketchup and mustard. But the secret here is the bun, which has been buttered to heaven and toasted on the griddle. A great bun makes the difference between a good burger and a phenomenal burger, and Culver’s ButterBurger is the latter.
• 2. Burger King Whopper:Considered one of the most groundbreaking burgers in fast-food history, the Whopper is normally a flame-grilled masterpiece that’s more that dates to 1957. Today, it’s offered in special variations, depending on the season, and there’s even the plant-based Impossible Whopper. But the original Whopper is simple: A wide, four-ounce patty that is topped with mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, pickles, ketchup and sliced onion on a sesame seed bun.
• 3. McDonald’s Big Mac: Probably one of the most recognizable burgers on the planet, this double burger has been around for close to 60 years. Most kids born in the 1970s can still recite the lyrics from the commercial jingle: “Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun!” It is perhaps the signature fast-food burger. McDonald’s reportedly sells more than 550 million Big Macs every year.
• 4. Arby’s Roast Beef:This not-so-modest sandwich—a pile of hot, thinly sliced roast beef on a toasted sesame seed bun—was one of the few items on Arby’s first menu when it opened in 1964. This classic sandwich was the inspiration behind the joint’s other roast beef options, including a gyro and French dip version.
• 5. Wendy’s Baconator: While it feels like this half-pound beef burger with two square-shaped patties, cheese, ketchup, mayonnaise and six pieces of bacon has been around forever, the Baconator is a relatively new invention. It was introduced in 2007 and helped to put Wendy’s on the map right alongside Burger King and McDonald’s.

Honorable mention: Burger King Monster Thickburger, Subway Foot-Longs.

2. Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Fish

• 1. Fazoli’s Ultimate Sampler: Fettuccine Alfredo, Penne with Meat Sauce, Spaghetti Marinara with Meatball, Lasagna with Meat Sauce. And the two signature garlic breadsticks provide a perfect doughy accent.
• 2. Taco Bell Nachos BellGrande/Supreme: Crispy tortilla chips topped with ground beef, diced tomatoes, refried beans, nacho cheese sauce and a dollop of reduced fat sour cream, finished off with a sprinkle of green onions on top. Nachos Supreme contains the same ingredients as Nachos BellGrande, but in smaller portion(s).
• 3. Long John Silver’s Catch Of the Day: The favorite features two pieces of fried white fish (which is always tasty!), two side dishes and two hushpuppies. The Eighinger family regularly travels to Hannibal, Mo., to be treated to this.
• 4. KFC Chicken: KFC’s original fried chicken is still a tough bird to beat. Its supremely crispy crust spiked with savory spices and juicy meat is mighty tasty. The chain made fried chicken a worldwide staple after it spread across the globe in the ’60s.
• 5. Papa John’s The Works Pizza: The Works is a hearty pizza that’s loaded with pepperoni, Canadian bacon, Italian sausage, onions, green peppers, mushrooms, black olives and mozzarella cheese, all on top of the company’s original dough, which is baked with garlic sauce and Parmesan-Romano cheese around the crust. (By the way, hold the black olives, please.)

Honorable mention: Taco Bell Hard/Soft Tacos, Pizza Hut Meat Lover’s, Panda Express Orange Chicken, Cassano’s Classic Deluxe.

3. Sides

• 1. Burger King Onion Rings: A crispy, golden-fried exterior with a tender, sweet white onion. The onion rings help Burger King to stand out from the pack of fast-food options in the area of “sides”. Some fans feel BK’s zesty sauce makes the onion rings an even stronger No. 1 choice.
• 2. Wendy’s Baked Potatoes: Wendy’s differentiates itself from competitors by offering a different kind of spud: a baked potato. Perceived as a healthy alternative to fries, Wendy’s baked potatoes can be turned into something just as salty and satisfying. Load them up with sour cream and chives, cheese or bacon. If you really want a unique fast-food experience, get your baked potato topped with another of the chain’s signature items: the Wendy’s chili.
• 3. McDonald’s Fries: If there were a guarantee these would always be received hot — or least pleasantly warm — on a regular basis they would likely be No. 1. But there seems to be a quality control problem beneath the Golden Arches when it comes to this specific order. (Just a week ago, I received a large order of these fries that were limp and lukewarm at best. I really don’t understand the problem of serving a food item hot when it is SUPPOSED to be hot. This does not seem to be a recurring theme at any of the other burger sites.)
• 4. Culver’s Chili: Arguably the most underrated item on this entire list. Initially, the thick and hearty dish was available only during the winter months, but as Culver’s popularity spread, so did the chili’s. It is now offered year-round.
• 5. Fazoli’s breadsticks: They’re described as “warm and garlicky”. I described them as wonderful.

Honorable mention: Burger King Chicken Fries, McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets, Wendy’s Chili.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Pass the Pepto, please …

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. There is no doubt he has tried every item on these lists dozens of times in his never-ending quest for quality control and science.