DAILY DIRT: Do you miss renting movies at Blockbuster? (You’re not alone … )

Or how about ordering from Columbia House? … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,076 of The Daily Dirt

1. Here’s the latest episode of our ongoing look at “You Might Be Old” if you …

Please award yourself one point for each item that applies to you:

• Rented a movie from Blockbuster. (Am I alone in saying how much I used to enjoy going to that store? I was happy to spend an hour — OK, make that plural … — walking the aisles to find just the right movie for that evening.) (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Let’s see … scrolling through selections on my 75 inch screen at home in my recliner or going to a store with a bunch of people just to find out the last copy of “Animal House” had just been rented? Then forgetting to return all of the crap my kids rented that I didn’t know about? This has been another episode of “Steve’s Bad Takes.” JRG)
• Accessed the internet via dial-up. (Whew … those days were brutal?) (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Steve just made up for the bad take here. JRG)
• Took pictures with one of those old, small Kodak cameras. (And then had to take the filmto the drug store. You never knew until about a week after you took pictures whether or not any of them were any good.)
• Played an Atari. (And thought you were cooler than the other side of the pillow when you were “gaming”.)
• Ordered from Columbia House. (Oh my, I was totally addicted. I have no idea how many of those little cassette tapes I ordered, and probably even more CDs. For the record, Columbia House filed for bankruptcy in 2015.)
• Had a rotary phone. (Yeah, I was one who never though cell phones would catch on.)
• Used a phone book. (I have grandkids who have no idea what one of these was actually for.)
• Used a paper map. (This one really hurts. I still use paper maps.) (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Steve can’t use any maps period. He got lost going to Columbia, Mo. trying to cover an event for MRN. JRG)
• Uncurled a telephone cord. (So frustrating, yet so rewarding.)
• Used a typewriter. (I think the last time I used a typewriter was in the mid-1990s, and that’s probably being generous.)

If you answered “yes” to two or more, you’re definitely old. Really old.

2. Did you know (Part 140)

• That the sound of your alarm clock is technically your theme song since it plays at the start of every episode of your life.
• That the youngest picture of you is also the oldest picture of you.
• That if you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
• That Coca-Cola can remove blood stains.
• That when you kiss someone, your DNA stays in their mouth for up to three days.
• That in the country of Nepal, it is common for brothers to marry the same woman. It is considered a cultural norm.
• That it’s rather strange the names that bacon and cookies go by, considering that you cook bacon and bake cookies.

3. We’ve been on a good run when it comes to creative license plates found in West-Central Illinois and Northeast Missouri.

Our gold medal recipient has changed three times in the past month, including today’s new arrival: GOD 911.

Here’s a new look at the current awards stand:

Gold Medal: GOD 911. When a picture of this plate was sent to me, my first thought was, “Is this a pastor’s car?”

Silver medal: U BABE 1.

Bronze medal: POACHER. 

Other top entries from the past week:

• FYI 94
• KOKO
• DORSEY 7
• SEEYA 51
• HEN BEN 5
• GMA BOD
• SOONERZ
• LEFTY 80
• URSA 84
• QCY 80
• NEWSE 12

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Actually, today I leave you with FOUR thoughts, none of which will require any deep thinking:

What do you call an army of babies? Infant-ry.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for work? Bi-son.

What kind of birds stick together? Vel-crows.

Where does a pirate go to get his hook? The second hand store.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. “That the sound of your alarm clock is technically your theme song since it plays at the start of every episode of your life …” That’s some ‘Deep Thoughts with Jack Handey’-type shit right there.