Daily Dirt: Appreciating a car and understanding it are two entirely different things

I once tried to “air up” the two front tires on the car I was driving at a particular point in my life. After I had done that, the car ultimately crashed into a tree. I later found I had more than 100 pounds of pressure in each of the front tires. No wonder it was bouncing a bit as I tried to move down the road.

That aisde, welcome to Vol. 104 of the Daily Dirt and today’s three thoughts:

1. There are few things more essential in life than a car. 

Make that a car that works. And there are few things in life more important than knowing the basics about how — or why — a car works. And I do not know any of those basics. I have never successfully changed a flat tire, put oil in my car or did whatever you are supposed to do with spark plugs. In fact, I was in my late 20s before I ever put gas in a car, and that was because the last full-service gas station I could find finally shut down. I am the reason there are mechanics. Without mechanics, I could never leave my house.

Ironically, my dad was a mechanic. So was my brother. Me? I played with toy cars as a child. That was about the extent of my interest in the V-8 engine. Also quite ironically, I have always loved race cars, from attending races to writing about the event, the personalities and the particular models. Yet I have no real clue how any of those moving part work. None whatsoever. Nor do I want to know, which, I think, adds another layer of strange to my relationship with moving vehicles.

Here are a few quotes, I think, that help explain my relationship with cars. For the record, I have found marriage(s) easier to navigate than the owner’s manual of a car or truck:

• “I know a lot about cars, man … I can look at a car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.” — comedian Mitch Hedberg.
• “In the history of the world, no one has ever washed a rented car.” — Lawrence Summers, economist.
• “I drive one car. I own one house. That’s enough for me,” — Peter Stormare, actor and musician. Me, too, Peter. Me, too.

2. Fun food facts:

Did you know a single spaghetti noodle is a “spaghetto?” I certainly didn’t. Information like that is way above my pay grade.

Lemons float, but limes sink. If you know me at all, you realize I will try this, right?

Most wasabi is simply horseradish dyed green. Well, that’s nice. I never plan on eating either anyway.

Hawaiian pizza was actually invented in Canada. Using that line of thought, I wonder why hockey isn’t more popular in Honolulu.

3. Here’s something else to chew on today.

Did you know more people die by falling coconuts than sharks? Apparently, sharks have gotten a bad rap all of these years, because in reality you’re much more likely to be finished off by a coconut than the next Jaws. According to scientific research (what other kind would we trust?), each year about 150 people are killed by falling coconuts, compared to 10 by sharks.

Steve Fact O’ The Day The last time Steve went fishing was in the mid-1980s. But he always enjoys a trip to Red Lobster or Long John Silver’s.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He puts the lime in the coconut and drinks it all up.