DAILY DIRT: Hopefully, we never see anything like New Coke, the Ford Edsel and Satisfries ever again

November 20, 2024 | By Steve Eighinger, Muddy River News Minister of Culture and Doctor of Love

Daily Dirt for Wednesday, Nov. 20, 2024

Very few things in life have truly disturbed me as much as when the Coca-Cola Company introduced that New Coke. Next to my wife, kids and the Cleveland Indians there was probably nothing in the world I enjoyed more than a (real) Coke on the rocks … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,119 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Not all ideas from corporate America are successful.

Here are four of my favorite flops:

Gold medal: New Coke. What a disaster. In 1985, Coca-Cola introduced “New Coke” to better compete with Pepsi, which at the time was beginning to challenge Coke for soft-drink dominance. The idea was to create a product that tasted more like Pepsi, but sales were so dreadful that the Coca-Cola hierarchy re-introduced what it termed “Classic Coke” to the buying public.

Silver medal: The Ford Edsel. It debuted in 1958 (as the first new Ford brand in 18 years) and was gone two years later. It was marketed as “the car of the future,” but it was introduced in the midst of a recession and failed. I remember as a wee lad growing up in a “car family” and how this particular model was repeatedly the butt of many jokes, Plus, it was downright ugly.

Bronze medal:”Satisfries” from Burger King: In 2013, Satisfries were introduced/advertised as healthy alternative to French fries. By using a less-porous batter, Satisfries absorbed less oil. But Burger King’s public relations effort in this area left customers confused and they shunned the Satisfries, which were also more expensive. Satisfries disappeared from the world of fast food about a year after their debut.

Dishonorable mention: Wow chips from Frito-Lay: In 1998, this fat-free snack was marketed with an ingredient called olestra, which had a laxative side effect on many people. The chips were “quietly withdrawn” about as quickly as that idiotic New Coke.

2. Did you know (Part 192)

That there will soon be Butterfinger, Baby Ruth and 100 Grand ice cream bars available at a supermarket near you.
That Reese’s is planning to make jars of Peanut Butter Cup Filling available to the public. There is no release date yet.
That Pickle Fries are now available at Burger King.
That Panera has a variety of new Ciabatta Dippers it is offering.
That the five “greatest snacks of all time,” according to The Makeshift Project, are: 1. Doritos, 2. Oreos, 3. Pringles, 4. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, 5. Goldfish.

3. The BabyCenter (babycenter.com) has updated its list for most popular names for 2024:

Girls

1. Olivia
2. Amelia
3. Emma
4. Sophia
5. Charlotte
6. Isabella
7. Ava
8. Mia
9. Ellie
10. Luna

Names that are rising fast: Louise, Elodie., Arlette, Jolie, Caitlin, Kamilla, A’ja, Eclipse, Sol, Evelyn, Brooklyn, Madelyn, Adalee, Avalynn, Lakelyn, Rosalee, Maelynn.

Names no longer popular: Sarah, Eva, Jasmine. (Sarah has fallen out of the top 100 for the first time in more than 60 years.)

Boys