Daily Dirt: Sandler, Cage, Carrey, Murphy … what the heck happened?

Daily Dirt for Nov. 12, 2021

It’s always sad when a movie star falls as far — and fast — as the following. It’s difficult, but I actually remember when someone like Eddie Murphy was funny, or when Steven Seagal was The Man. It seems like such a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away …. anyway, welcome to today’s three thoughts inVol. 125 of the Daily Dirt.

1.Raise your hand if you have sat in front of a television set or in a movie theater and asked yourself the question, “Why is he (or she) still making movies? He (or she) has not been relevant for a decade and hasn’t made a good film in forever.” Yep. Me, too.

Here are some actors who still command rather large paychecks and fall into all of those categories for me:

• Adam Sandler-Best movie: “The Wedding Singer” (1998). Worst (of many) Sandler movies: Take your pick. The list is lengthy. How about “Jack and Jill” (2011), or “Little Nicky” (2000) or the “The Waterboy” (1998) or … you get the idea. Why, oh why does this guy still get hired? He peaked in 1998 and his career has spiraled downhill ever since.
• Nicolas Cage-Best movie: “Con Air” (1997).Worst (of many) Cage movies: Personal problems? Plenty. Legal woes? Probably even more. And there’s virtually no chance of a comeback since he’s become a punchline in the film industry for such efforts as “The Wicker Man” (2006), “Ghost Rider” (2007) and “National Treasure” (2004).
• Jim Carrey-Best movie: “Dumb and Dumber” (1994).Worst (of many) Carrey movies: Think about it. “Dumb and Dumber” is the highlight of his career. It was followed up with the likes of “Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls” (1995), “The Cable Guy” (1996) and “The Truman Show” (1998). Ugh.
• Steven Seagal-Best movie: “Above the Law” (1988).Worst (of many) Seagal movies: Try as I must, I could not pick one or two of Seagal’s worst. There are simply too many. I thought he would be an action star for decades after “Above the Law,” but with the exception of a few other movies I was dead wrong. For one thing, the now rather beefy Seagal should have pushed himself away from the dinner table more often and worked more on his craft.
• Johnny Depp Best movie: “Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl” (2003).Worst (of many) Depp movies: “The Long Ranger” (2013), but that ridiculous film was hardly his last. Johnny just keeps cranking out dreadful movies, largely because he needs the paychecks. His financial problems are legendary. Hmmm … maybe an autobiographical film might actually be interesting.
• Cher: It’s time, Cher. It’s just time. But we’ll miss you.-Best movie: “Moonstruck” (1987).Worst movie: “The Witches of Eastwick (1987). To be honest, I don’t think Cher has ever made an absolutely horrible film (unlike, say, Eddie Murphy), but she’s well past her prime and I, for one, do not want her to be remembered for an embarrassing performance at the tail end of her career. It’s time, Cher. It’s just time.
• Eddie Murphy-Best movie: “48 Hours” (1982).Worst (of many) Murphy movies: “The Adventures of Pluto Nash” (2002) and just about anything after the mid-1990s. It’s been more than 25 years since this one-time movie king has enjoyed anything even close to a hit.

2. Don’t feel bad for those out-of-work actors and actresses. Well, at least not all them. Here’s a look at what some of our favorite (unemployed) stars are receiving via their former shows:

• Ed O’Neill (“Married … with Children”): He spent 11 years playing Al Bundy and now collects about $10 million a year through residuals. Just wait until those checks from “Modern Family” start to roll in.
• Kelsey Grammer (“Frasier”): Would you believe $13 million a year? And don’t forget he’s still getting paid for those years on “Cheers”, too.
• Ray Romano (“Everyone Loves Raymond”): You better sit down for this one. $18 million. No, that’s not a typo.–
• Jerry Seinfeld (“Seinfeld”): Here’s the king. The Big Daddy. Mr. Moneybags. Jerry earns $110 million a year for his nine seasons on “Seinfeld.”
• Jim Parsons (“Big Bang Theory”): Sheldon gets a crisp $10 million a year. Bazinga!

We’ll feature some more of these how-much-are-they-making-now former stars in a few days.

3. My five favorite menu items at Steak and Shake:

• Double steakburger, with a thin slice of cheese in between the two patties. Hold everything else, especially items like mayonnaise and pickles.
• Onion rings. Granted, they’re excellent. But the rings become an even better choice since fries are usually lukewarm at best.
• Chicken fingers. I think Steak and Shake needs to introduce wings to its menu.
• The steak frank. Great for a three-bite snack.
• Chili. It’s that time of year.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Tonight, he will be enjoying a Pirate Dog at E.A. Porter Stadium in Hannibal. #steveeats