DAILY DIRT: ‘Why do men have a hernia? Shouldn’t it be a hisnia?’

Daily Dirt for Tuesday, March 4, 2025

When French people swear, do they say, “Pardon my English?” … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,219 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Maybe it’s some premature form of spring fever.

I’m not really sure.

But I’ve been having some deep thoughts lately, and I thought I’d share a few.

What do you think about the following?

• Why do British people never sound British when they sing? I know I can’t be alone with this concern.
• Why do men have a hernia? Shouldn’t it be a hisnia?
• Why do “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing? Which do you say most?
• If the No. 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still No. 2? And have you ever actually seen a No. 1 pencil? After some investigating, I found that a No. 1 pencil’s  lead is made of a softer graphite for artistic purposes. It’s also known as a B grade pencil … oh boy, shouldn’t it technically be a grade A pencil to be consistent?
• At a movie theater, which arm rest is technically yours? Well, if you get there early enough, both of them.
• Why are you “in” a movie, but “on” TV?
• Why is Philippines spelled with “Ph” but Filipino is spelled with an “F”?
• When does it stop being partly cloudy and become partly sunny?
• Why do people say “heads up” when they should actually be yelling “duck!”
• When French people swear, do they say, “Pardon my English?”
• Why do you wear an evening gown out in public, but not a night gown?

2. Did you know (Part 293)

• That the Barbie doll’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts, from Willows, Wis. Her is March 9, 1959, when she was first displayed at the New York Toy Fair.
• That the original name for the search engine Google was Backrub. It was renamed Google after the googol, which is the number one followed by 100 zeros. 
• That spring pro football (UFL) returns March 28. Can’t wait. Not.
• That wombats are the only animal whose poop is cube-shaped. That’s due to how its intestines form the feces. The animals then stack the cubes to mark their territory.
• That an elephant’s heart weighs 35 pounds. A human heart weighs about 10 ounces.

3. We’ve been dealing with the 1980s recently, so here’s one more concept to think about.

Take a few minutes and select your favorite songs from female artists from that era. Females singing lead for a particular group are not eligible. The girls have to be individual artists.

Here’s my personal top 10:

• 1. “Bette Davis Eyes,” by Kim Carnes.
• 2. “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” by Bonnie Tyler
• 3. “So Emotional,” by Whitney Houston
• 4. “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” by Whitney Houston
• 5. “I Found Someone,” by Cher
• 6. “If I Could Turn Back Time,” by Cher
• 7. “Girls Just Want To Have Fun,” by Cyndi Lauper
• 8. “Hit Me With Your Best Shot,” by Pat Benatar
• 9. “How Will I Know,” by Whitney Houston
• 10. “What’s Love Got To Do With It,” by Tina Turner

Steve Thought O’ The Day — The best single line from any of those aforementioned songs? How about, “You’re a real tough cookie with a long hist-or-ee … ” from Pat Benatar.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. His deep thoughts and ponderings are available for sponsorship opportunities.