DAILY DIRT: You know it’s been a great day if you HGBM or WTFA

March 5, 2025 | By Steve Eighinger Muddy River News Minister of Culture and Doctor of Love

Daily Dirt for Wednesday, March 5, 2025

I’m sure I’ll get a note from someone somewhere wondering WWIT when I wrote this … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,220 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Texting can be tough for senior citizens. Believe me, I know.

Arguably the most difficult part is keeping up with all the latest acronyms. Anything beyond LOL, FYI and DIY and I’ll probably have to ask someone for an interpretation.

But I can see a future in these things when it comes to old-timers like me. I think it’s time to start working some of the following into mainstream texting:

HGBM: Had good bowel movement
GHA: Got heartburn again
LWO: Lawrence Welk’s on
LOL: Little old lady
BFF: Best friend fell
BRB: Bathroom break
ATD: At the doctor’s
DWI: Driving while incontinent
TTYL: Talk to you louder
BTW: Bring the wheelchair
WWIT: What was I thinking
CBM: Covered by Medicare
WIWYA: When I was your age
FWIW: Forgot where I was
CUATSC: See you at the Senior Center
WTFA: Wet the furniture again
WTP: Where’s the prunes?
ABFF: At best friend’s funeral
BMW: Bring my walker
ROFL: Really old and farting loudly
OMG: Oh my gout!
OMSG: Oh my! Sorry! Gas …
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
ROFLACGU: Rolling on the floor and can’t get up

What do you think? Let’s get on this ASAP.

2. Did you know (Part 294)

That there will soon be a Twix Snickerdoodle candy bar on the market.
That the newest Butterfinger candy bar creation will be salted caramel. Look for it sometime in the spring.
That Reese’s will soon be featuring a new Peanut Butter Pie entry in the sweets sweepstakes. There will be little cookie pieces inside the cream, we are told.
That the newest Hershey’s bars will be filled with caramel. Look for them in a month or so.
That Cotton Candy Kit Kats will soon be offered in those assortment bags of miniature Kit Kats.

3. Here are my three most medal-worthy songs for being the most overplayed in the history of rock music:

Gold medal: “Hey Jude,” by the Beatles. It’s to the point now I have to change the channel whenever this way-too-long song comes on. I just can’t stand that never-ending chorus. To be perfectly honest, I really didn’t care for it when it first came out in 1968, so you imagine my feelings 57 years later.

Silver medal: “Hotel California,” by the Eagles. Ironically, this song was released on my birthday (Dec. 8) in 1976. This is another song that just won’t end. Six minutes and thirty-four seconds. Seems like four hours. I sincerely hate this song.

Bronze medal: “Bohemian Rhapsody,” by Queen. How can we ever forget these lyrics:

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me
(Galileo) Galileo, (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo Figaro, magnifico

I’m not sure if we ever CAN forget these lyrics, but every day I keep hoping for the best.

Steve Thought O’ The Day – To be fair, here are three songs I still enjoy by the above groups: “Twist And Shout” (Beatles), “The Long Run” (Eagles) and “Fat Bottomed Girls” (Queen).