Daily Dirt: Climbing that ‘Stairway to Heaven’ with a ‘Sweet Child of Mine’? Hope you have a great time

Daily Dirt for Nov. 18, 2021

I nearly crashed the family Kia the last time “Hotel California” came on the radio. I think you’ll understand why after reading today’s three thoughts in Vol. 131 of the Daily Dirt.

1. Do you have that one song you cannot stand to listen to any longer? That when you are driving and hear the intro on your car radio your right index finger cannot move quick enough to change the channel? Yeah, me too.

Here are five that send me into a mild panic because I do not want to hear even the opening line:

1-tie. “We Are The Champions” and “We Will Rock You” by Queen: Thanks in part goes to all the high school, college and pro sports teams who, by some point in the 1980s, had ruined these songs for millions.

2. “Sweet Child Of Mine” by Guns ‘N Roses: Maybe it’s the extended opening, maybe it’s the image of Axl Rose, maybe it’s the image of Slash standing there with all of that hair in his face … after all of these years, I’m not really sure, but when this song comes on the radio I’m immediately hitting one of the push buttons to change channels.

3. “Hotel California” by the Eagles: This could easily be No. 1 — that’s how much I now despise these top three (four, with the tie). This one, however, holds a special place in the black hole of my listening heart. You have to change channels quickly, because if you don’t you are sucked into this slow-moving canticle that never ends. It just never ends.

4. “Stairway to Heaven” by Led Zeppelin: Just re-read my feelings about “Hotel California”.

5. “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen: Bad day to be a fan of Queen and reading this, eh?

2. If I had my way …

• A small loaf of French bread, an order of bread sticks or some form of doughy item would be included with all meal offerings at all restaurants. Surprisingly, they’re not.
• Movie theaters would have concession prices capped. I fully support making a profit, but $10 for an alleged “large” box or tub of popcorn? Unless that’s a “dump truck” size, $10 is not inflation it’s a crime.
• More on movie theaters … two adult admissions would also include one order of popcorn and a soft drink. I know, I know. The theaters would simply up the admission price by a $1 or something, but it’s the principal of the thing. 
• College football teams would have to win a minimum of eight games to be eligible for a bowl game. Yeah, I know, that would mean getting rid of about 10 bowl games … and would that be such a bad thing?

3. If a supermarket completely rearranges its store (yes, I’m still upset about this, Hy-Vee)…all customers for the first month afterward would be receive a coupon for $10 off an order of pastries or combination of snack-type items. Eating a glazed doughnut or bag of chips would ease the frustration of trying to find out where the garbage bags are now located.

Steve Fact O’ The Day

Steve’s worst nightmare would be eating in a restaurant with “Hotel California” playing in the background and no French bread to ease the pain. 

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He hates rock opera.