‘Everyone can find 45 minutes a week to make a difference’: Hannibal woman explains impact of mentoring with HAYS

HANNIBAL, Mo. — Connie Benson first sat with a kindergarten student as a mentor from the Hannibal Alliance for Youth Support (HAYS) program through the Hannibal Public School District nearly 15 years ago.

Benson, who has a background as a high school teacher, worried if she could connect with an elementary student.

“On that first day, I was a little bit nervous, and I think she was too. It takes a while to build that relationship, but each week we would play games or talk about life while eating lunch together,” Benson said in a press release. “As we spent that time together, the relationship and trust followed.”

That student now attends college across the country, but she remains a contact on Benson’s phone. The young girl moved to a different state during middle school, but Benson didn’t abandon her role in the student’s life.

“She still has family here, and it’s been a few years, but when she is back in Hannibal, we try to get together,” she said. “Her birthday was a few days ago, and so I just texted her birthday wishes, and she responded.”

Benson, now with Benson Financial Group, started mentoring with HAYS around 2010 after learning about the program from a few friends who were involved.

“I heard about the program from them and thought it would be something I would like to do, and I had some time during my lunch hour,” Benson said.

Mentoring is one of several programs HAYS offers through its commitment to student success. Mentors usually meet with an assigned student once a week at school, often at lunch but other times as well.

With faith at the center of her life, Benson believes God placed her as a mentor to love students and shine a light during dark times. Benson said mentors have the opportunity to be there for a child throughout their life and give them a level of structure and permanency so many of them need.

When one of her students lost a parent several years ago and moved to a relative’s home across the state, Benson continued to guide her through the tragedy. Benson and the girl, now a junior in high school, stay in touch by phone and regular letter writing. Benson sends regular care packages and, when possible, makes time for an in-person visit in the summer.

As she spoke details of interactions over the years, tears threatened her cheeks.

“You don’t realize until you’re there and you see it just how much some of these kids are going through,” she said. “I have learned so much from the hardships these little ones face that sometimes I am overcome.”

Benson was quick to say this should not intimidate anyone considering a mentoring role with HAYS. She said it isn’t a one-man-show but instead a collaboration with teachers and guidance counselors who work together for the student’s well-being and success.

“You aren’t alone in mentoring, and you aren’t their counselor. Instead, you are a trusted friend. When they are going through something hard or something concerning comes up, that’s when you take it to the counselor or teacher,” she said. “You can also encourage your student to talk to their parents or counselor as well.”

Benson said teachers, without disclosing private or confidential information, often give her a heads-up when a student has had a rough day or something difficult is happening in their lives. This gives her insight into a student’s mood during their meeting and allows students a safe space if they choose to talk about it.

Benson has now mentored four students. She’s been through days where she’s doubted her impact, but she’s quickly reminded otherwise.

“There are moments when a student doesn’t talk much or interact, and I would later sit and talk to the counselors asking them, ‘Am I even making a difference? Am I doing something wrong?’” she said. “But then I remember the challenges these kids are facing, which are so different from the ones I faced when I was young.”

She keeps loving them and reminding them she is there — then proves it by showing up. Looking at the lasting relationships she has formed, Benson’s doubts are relieved by the precious connections she’s made.

She looks forward to reuniting later this month with the elementary student she is mentoring. She also encourages anyone feeling led to mentoring to follow through.

“Everyone can find 45 minutes a week to make a difference in a child’s life,” she said.