Muddy River Vibe: A well-done roast for a good cause

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“This is not a time for jokes, Brittany.”

Ugh. If I had a penny for every time that I had to hear that one … I would probably have a dollar. 

But if that lady with the cringeworthy, nagging voice knew the power behind laughter when used to combat pain … I’d probably only have two cents. That old cliché about laughter being the best medicine, as with many cliches, is grounded in truth. Follow the science (See, I’m funny). Studies have shown that laughter boosts the immune system and triggers the release of pleasure-inducing neurochemicals in the brain. In a 2017 Forbes article, David DiSalvo breaks down the six scientific facts about the benefits of laughter on our health. 

So take that, Sharon, Karen’s super loud, judgmental cousin and the lady who is always putting me down for attempting to produce a laugh in awkward moments. I say attempt because jokes are not really my forte. Comedy is a gift that I’m better at enjoying rather than delivering. It was once an art where anything could go. Nothing was taboo. Now in the year 2021, I’m nervous when publicly laughing at a joke that someone might find offensive. 

If you enjoy a good laugh and are not a Karen, Sharon, supporter of cancel culture, or sensitive to anything … well do I have an event for you! The Muddy River Vibe’s spotlight is shining light on an event full of bad jokes and good old medicinal laughter. It’s the Quincy Chapter Alzheimer’s Association Second Celebrity Roast. What is a roast?

NOT THIS KIND OF ROAST!

A comedy roast is a form of humor in which a guest of honor is subjected to jokes at their expense intended to amuse the event’s audience. Basically, it’s like those Comedy Central specials you see with Jeff Ross, but without the bleeps. You’ll hear the actual words being said.

Comedy Central’s Roastmaster General Jeff Ross

The first Quincy Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association roast featured Jeff Dorsey as the guest of honor. Dorsey took a night of hits all in good fun to raise money for the fight against the disease. 

An estimated six million Americans have dementia caused by Alzheimer’s. Dementia is the general term for the decline in mental ability severe enough to interfere with daily life. Alzheimer’s is the most common cause of dementia. There is no cure. 

For Dorsey, his efforts are to honor his dear friend and the Qmunity’s beloved former radio host, Dennis Oliver. Oliver has been battling this disease while simultaneously raising awareness and money to help everyone’s fight against Alzheimer’s. 

D.O. (Dennis Oliver) and The Big Dog (Jeff Dorsey)

The six million Americans who are suffering from the disease doesn’t even come close to the number of people affected by it. The friends and family who surround those suffering from Alzheimer’s must endure the pain of watching their loved ones become a shell of the person that they once were. Imagine being in your early thirties, raising your family in a hustle and bustle world, just trying to do the best you can, and being hit with the calling of becoming your father’s caretaker. That is where Josh Klitz found himself ten years ago when his father, Jerry Klitz, moved in with him, his wife, Carrie, their three boys under the age of five at the time, and their big, black, 185 pound Great Dane, Sid. 

Jerry Klitz was an 82nd Airborne veteran from the Vietnam era. His son and family cared for him in his early stages of Alzheimer’s while waiting for a spot to open at the Illinois Veterans Home. During that time, it was as you can imagine, complete chaos with lots of pain, but if anyone knows the Klitz family, lots of laughs as well. 

Josh and Jerry Klitz at Josh’s Wedding in 2002. Sadly enough, this is right before it all fell apart. Jerry kept asking Josh why they got so dressed up for finger foods and draft beer.

Josh told me about the time Jerry accidentally left the door open and a black bird flew into the house without him noticing, but Sid noticed. Sid and the black bird had a royal rumble that was no contest. Blood, black feathers and some fur was the disastrous end game. Poor Jerry thought he had killed Josh’s dog. 

Sid: 6′ 2″ tall. Man’s best monster

Jeff Dorsey and Josh Klitz, an unusual duo, brought together by the desire to help end this fight against Alzheimer’s, have combined their entertainment powers and want to invite you to a night of laughter that is truly not for the faint of heart. The target, I mean honored guest, for the second Quincy Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association Celebrity Roast is none other than Quincy Notre Dame’s legendary former football coach and now athletic director, Bill Connell. As QND’s head football coach, a thick hide was needed. Hopefully, it’s thick enough to endure a roasting. The only advice I have for you, Coach Connell, is good luck.

Bill Connell: About to be roasted.

“A coach is someone who tells you what you don’t want to hear, who has you see what you don’t want to see, so you can be who you have always known you could be.” – Tom Landry.

Pretty fitting. Anyone that finds themselves affected by Alzheimer’s could use a little coaching, along with some comfort and laughter. 

The Quincy Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association Celebrity Roast will be held on Friday, October 22 at the Elks Lodge at 211 N. 2nd Street. The doors will open at 7pm, with the show starting at 7:30pm. There will be a cash bar available. Must be 21 and older to attend the event. Again, this will be extreme adult content that I’m not responsible for! So, if you want to experience awkwardness that would make Larry David feel uncomfortable, reserve your tickets today by emailing Jeff Dorsey at jeffdorsey1026@gmail.com 

Tickets are $25 each with tables available for $200 that seats up to 8 people, all made payable by cash or check at the door. If you are interested in helping to sponsor this event, spots are available for $150 and include program printouts and shoutouts throughout the show or if would like to donate any amount of money to the Quincy Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association, please contact Jeff Dorsey through his email. 

Brittany Boll is an award-winning mixologist who serves as our Muddy River Vibe correspondent.

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