DAILY DIRT: A county fair comes once a year, which is a green light to gorge all you can as long as you can

I once gained five pounds at the fair BEFORE I had eaten anything. There are even calories in the aroma of a county fair midway … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,014 of The Daily Dirt.

1. The Adams County Fair is underway. What’s your favorite part of such event?

If you said anything but food, you’re a culinary liar.

The beauty pageant is great.

The rides are fun.

The concerts are great.

But … fair food is in a class of its own.

A county fair comes once a year, which is a green light to gorge all you can as long as you can — and then try and work it off in the ensuing months.

The following foods are on my radar as I make my way to the fair tonight:

• Something from the onion family, be it a bloomin’ onion or the basic onion ring(s).
• Corn dogs. Simple, to the point and easy to hold in one hand while another fair food is occupying the other.

• Curly fries. With plenty of salt, thank you.
• Funnel cake. Laced with the powdered sugar that will undoubtedly be blown on to whatever shirt you are wearing.
• Coney. This might be optional, depending on the degree of attraction you hold for the corn dog(s).
• Ribbon fries. For the uninitiated, these are those things that magically happen when curly fries and potato chips appear to have mated.
• Sausage. Effectively darkened, thank you. Served on a soft hot dog bun.
• Elephant ears. These are the cousins of the funnel cake (or vice versa), but probably minus the powdered sugar.

And after we’ve sampled all of these today, we will rest … and begin anew with more and different items tomorrow!

2. Did you know (Part 73)

• That German Chocolate Cake is named after an American baker named Samuel German.
• That standing around burns calories. On average, a 150-pound person burns 114 calories per hour while standing and doing nothing. (Now THAT is the way to diet … )
• That a cluster of bananas is called a “hand.” Along that theme, a single banana is referred to as a “finger.”
• That “stewardesses” is the longest word that is typed with the left hand.
• That the first movie ever to put out a motion-picture soundtrack was “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”.

3. The most notable pro wrestling deaths over the past 30 to 40 years, ranked by their overall impact on the squared circle (their real banes follow their ring names):

• 1. Dusty Rhodes (died in 2015): Virgil Riley Runnels. Arguably the finest showman in the TV era. Plus, the best bleeder in history. His forehead was a war zone.
• 2. Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka (2017): James Smith. He owned the top rope.
• 3. Road Warrior Animal (2020): Joe Laurinaitis. His son, James, was a star linebacker at Ohio State, where he is now an assistant coach.
• 4. Road Warrior Hawk (2003): Michael Hegstrand. The other half of the greatest tag team in history. Bar none.
• 5. Andre the Giant (1993): Andre Roussimoff. The Giant once drank 117 beers in one sitting.
• 6. Randy “The Macho Man” Savage (2011): Randy Poffo. Oh yeah-h-h-h-h-h.
• 7. The Ultimate Warrior (2014): James Hellwig. The best ring entrance in the modern era of the squared circle.
• 8. Roddy Piper (2015): Roderick Toombs. He brought the art of studio interviews to new height.
• 9. Bruno Sammartino (2017): Bruno Leopoldo Francesco Sammartino. If he had come along about 20 years later, he would have been bigger than Hulk Hogan. Sammartino’s championship years were all spent before cable TV.
• 10. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan (2017): Raymond Heenan. The best manager of the era, who occasionally donned the tights.

Honorable mention

• Buddy Rogers (1992): Herman Rohde Jr.
• Ivan Koloff (2017): Oreal Perras.
• George “The Animal” Steele (2017): William Myers.
• Harley Race (2019): The same.
• Nikolai Volkoff (2018): Josip Peruzovic.
• King Kong Bundy (2019): Christopher Pallies.
• Rick Rude (1998): Rick Rood..
• Junkyard Dog (1998): Sylvester Ritter.
• Gorilla Monsoon (1999): Robert “Gino” Marella.
• Paul Orndorff (2021): The same.
• Curt Hennig (2003): The same.
• Big John Studd (1995): John Minton.
• Bam Bam Bigelow (2007): Scott Bigelow.
• Chris Benoit (2007): The same.
• Adrian Adonis (1988): Keith Franke.
• Brad Armstrong (2012): The same.
• Ox Baker (2014): Doug Baker.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Think about this next time you’re eating ice cream. 

Vanilla flavoring is sometimes made from something called castoreum, a scented oil which is naturally secreted by beavers’ butts.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He may never write about ice cream again.