DAILY DIRT: A dead battery wound up teaching me a lot about that Missouri-Illinois connection

Daily Dirt for Wednesday, April 29, 2025

And concerning squirrels, I vow never to cause one to worry  … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,270 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Yesterday in this space the discussion was about how much I learned about Illinois following the move westward from Ohio.

Well, the same holds true for Missouri.

When I initially arrived in Quincy in the late 1990s I had no idea how closely the two states were intertwined, or how much of a factor the unspoken rivalry between Illinois and Missouri happened to be. But I learned quickly.

As fate may have had it, within the first week after moving to Quincy my car died. Actually, it was the battery, but you get the point. So I had to call for some much-needed assistance, and one of the local shops sent a guy out to help me, for which I am grateful for to this day.

During the course of his assistance, I simply asked him where he was from, certain his answer would likely be Quincy or Hannibal, or somewhere else close. I was still learning the lay of the land and thought it would be a good ice breaker.

Apparently not.

“I’m from Missouri, why? Is that some sort of a problem,” he snapped back at me.

What can of worms did I just open, I asked myself.

I attempted to apologize for anything wrong I may have said and explained I had just moved here, etc. He was not impressed, nor did he care. I paid him, he snatched the money from my hand, got back in his truck and drove away.

When I explained to my new wife, Kathy, what had happened she began to chuckle. Her explanation was something about a natural rivalry between the two states and to never say anything stupid to a stranger from either side of the Mississippi.

“Stupid?” I asked. “I simply asked him where he was from.”

“Exactly,” she said. “He probably thought you were making fun of him because he was from Missouri. It would have probably been the same thing if your car broken down in Hannibal and you asked the same question of a guy who came to help you and he was from Illinois.”

She looked at me and chuckled again.

“Don’t worry, you’ll learn,” she said.

Over the ensuing 27 years of living out here I feel I have learned to watch what I say, or at least where I say it. But what I have also noticed through all of those years, especially be in the line of work I have been in, is that it’s obvious — very, very obvious — that those from both sides of the Mississippi take great pride in their backgrounds and you have to respect that. Which I try and do. (Although I take great pleasure on politely reminding friends on both sides of the river that Ohio State would, of course, beat both to a pulp on the football field.)

2. Did you know (Part 348)

• That French fries are the most-eaten vegetable every day.
• That over the next three years, McDonald’s plans to open one restaurant every day in China.
• That the average American spends $148 a month on fast food.
• That 40 percent of Americans use drive-thrus to purchase their fast food. Females are twice as likely to use a drive-thru.
• That 23 percent of fast-food customers now prefer getting fast food delivered, while 10 percent prefer to buy the food online and go pick it up.

3. Speaking of Missouri, I feel it’s only fair to point out a few bizarre facts of life about that state like we did Illinois yesterday.

And as I mentioned about the list of items concerning Illinois, of which I knew nothing about until moving here, the same holds true for the following facts concerning Missouri:

• Making squirrels uneasy, or “worrying” them, is not prohibited in parts of Missouri, most notably Excelsior Springs. Yep, this one’s a real head scratcher.
• It’s prohibited to throw large objects by hand in the Show-Me State.
• During Abraham Lincoln’s presidential campaign, Valentine Tapley, a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat from Pike County (Mo.) swore he would never shave again if Abe were elected. Tapley kept his word, and his chin whiskers went unshorn from November 1860 until he died in 1910, attaining a length of 12 feet, 6 inches. A movie should have been about this guy.
• Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcoholic beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
• In Missouri, minors cannot purchase cap pistols; however, they may buy shotguns freely.
• Missouri was the scene of more than 1,000 battles during the Civil War. Conversely, there were no major battles in Illinois.
• A fellow named Charles Leiper Gregg of St. Louis invented what we now call 7-Up about 100 years ago. The original 7-Up was named Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda.
• In 1974, Missourian Bob Chandler provided the world with its first monser truck. The rest, as they say, is history.
• William Lear of Hannibal, the inventor of the Learjet, also invented the eight-track tape player.
• Andrew Taylor Still, the founder of osteopathic medicine – which focuses on the spine, the muscles, and the joints – did so in Kirksville in 1875. He was also one of the first proponents of preventative medicine.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Have you ever been to a monster truck show? They’re pretty awesome.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He has conveniently forgotten what happened the last time Missouri played Ohio State. #MIZ