DAILY DIRT: A sign you’re getting older? There’s a new meaning to the term ‘all-nighter’

Daily Dirt for Sunday, June 1, 2025

I’m also wondering today if fish ever get thirsty … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,303 of The Daily Dirt

1. Since we’re now into June, that means I’m officially another month older.

• Which brings me to some sure-fire signs that I’m no longer … umm … shall we say young?
• I now take a jacket or hoodie with me wherever I go, even on a warm day. You know, “just in case” the temperature may drop 40 degrees in a half hour.
• Bending down or sneezing is often accompanied by a four-letter word. (And the older you get, the louder your sneezes become.)
• What constitutes an “all-nighter” has changed considerably. Now, it just means not having to get up during the night to go to the bathroom.
• I also have a favorite TV meteorologist, and I also check the weather much more often on my phone.
• Putting on socks in the morning without tripping — or even falling down — has become much more challenging.
• I blow my nose much more often than ever before. Louder, too.
• Since cataract surgery (another sign of old age), I now have living room “readers,” “bedroom readers,” “mancave readers,” “car readers,” etc.
• I also get rather annoyed when an unfamiliar car drives by our house. The neighborhood has a sacred boundary.
• I used to think it bizarre when my grandparents would eat dinner at about 4:30 every afternoon. No longer.
• I remember when I always used to go out on New Year’s Eve. Now I stay at home and may watch a video on how to properly fold a fitted sheet.
• I also remember when I thought about traveling the world. Now, I consider going to Hannibal the same thing.
• Probably the No. 1 sign I’m getting old(er) is that I used to wake up and immediately think about exercising or doing something physical. Now, I’ll watch a show I don’t like simply because the remote is out of reach.

2. Did you know (Part 382)

• That middle age (or old age, take your pick) is just walking around all day muttering things like: “What was I going to say?” or “Why did I come in here?” or “Did I already take my pill?” 
• That when you see someone over 40 out in public after 9 p.m. there’s a 100 percent chance they took a nap earlier in the day.
• That there is now a Selena Gomez type of Oreo. It’s a “horchata-inspired” cookie.
• That Oreo is also releasing a “Muddy Buddies” version of the iconic cookie.
• That whoever created the crustless pot pie had no idea why people eat pot pie.

3. A few more things to ponder on a Monday morning:

• Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle it is in?
• If money does not grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
• Why don’t birds fall out of trees when they are asleep??
• Can you actually cry while under water?
• Speaking of under water, do fish ever get thirsty?

Steve Thought O’ The Day — For all NASCAR fans, if you haven’t yet watch one of the races on Amazon Prime you may want to do so. It’s a quality production, with much better camera work and cleaner graphics. Now, if Dale Earnhardt Jr. just wouldn’t talk so much.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He’s been old for 20 years.