Daily Dirt: A waist is a terrible thing to mind

Daily Dirt for Aug. 5, 2021

Before you get to the part of today’s Daily Dirt that deals with Terry Forster, just let me say I agree with him 100 percent. Welcome to Vol. 28 of the daily dose:

1. Let’s continue yesterday’s thoughts on James Bond. I mentioned two actors — Burt Reynolds and Hugh Jackman — who turned down the role. How about other actors who, at least on the surface, would have seemed to make a dandy 007? Here are five to consider:

1. Cary Grant: He was the preferred choice as Bond for the inaugural “Dr. No” film, but declined. A tale of what might have been …

2. Christian Bale: There is still time for Bale, who is only 47, to be considered as an heir to the 007 throne. Somehow, it seems only right that Batman would eventually become a secret agent.

3. Idris Elba: He’s British, and he’s an on-screen badass. He’s actually perfect. And he’s only 48. 

4. Ralph Fiennes: He had the cold-hearted vibe and would have fit nicely into the same kind of version of Bond that Daniel Craig has brought to the big screen.

5. Michael Caine: He was certainly witty enough, though I would have some concern about the “nerd factor.” Bond can never, ever be a nerd.

2. Speaking of turning down roles, did you know Paul Schaffer — David Letterman’s longtime band leader — once turned down being George Costanza on “Seinfeld”? It was probably a good decision. I doubt if Schaffer would have ever been as successful as Jason Alexander, and the Letterman show would never have been the same without Schaffer’s nightly presence.

3. One of my all-time favorite baseball quotes was made by the rather portly Terry Forster, a pitcher who toiled for five MLB teams and rarely — if ever — missed a postgame meal. Forster’s official weight was never disclosed, though rumored to have been around or over 300 big ones. “A waist is a terrible thing to mind,” Forster said on more than one occasion. David Letterman also famously referred to Forster as “a fat tub of goo”.

Former Detroit outfielder Willie Horton, who also battled a weight problem during his career, once noted, “I only eat two meals a day, I just like snacks.”