DAILY DIRT: Anyone besides me miss ordering all of those tapes from Columbia House?

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Daily Dirt for Sunday, March 10, 2024

By the way, I’m sure I still owe Columbia House a small fortune … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 889 of The Daily Dirt.

1. So … did you wake up this morning with a spring in your step, feeling like you could conquer the world?

Well, before you go any further, take the time to answer the following questions.

Have you ever:

  • Used a rotary phone?
  • Played an Atari?
  • Used cursive writing?
  • Owned a Walkman?
  • Listed to music on a CD?
  • Used a typewriter?
  • Used a floppy disk?
  • Made a mixed tape?
  • Rented a movie from Blockbuster?
  • Listened to music on a boombox?
  • Taken pictures with a film camera?
  • Watched a movie on VHS?
  • Sent or received a fax?
  • Had a MySpace account?
  • Ordered from Columbia House?
  • Had an AOL address?
  • Accessed the internet via dial-up?
  • Used an encyclopedia?
  • Used a phone book?
  • Sent a postcard?
  • Used a paper map?
  • Owned a dictionary?
  • Written a check?
  • Uncurled a telephone cord?

If you answered “yes” to at least half of those items, you can officially categorize yourself as old.

And if you answered “yes” to ALL of them, you had better contact a family member about helping with your final arrangements because you’re not only old, you are ANCIENT.

For the record, I answered “yes” to 22 of 24. My total might actually be 24, but my memory is not what it once was.

2. Do realize there is actually a “candy superstore,” featuring more than 4,500 classic and contemporary items — plus a soda and sandwich shop that is situated inside such a caloric paradise?

Well, there is, and it’s called the Sweetie Candy Company, located in Cleveland, Ohio. It’s the largest such store in North America. The 40,000-square-foot site has been in operation since 1950 and features more than 2 MILLION pounds of candy. (There’s even an entire aisle of Pez candies AND Pez dispensers.)

Its inventory is valued at $3 million. 

Sweetie’s also offers more than 300 kinds of soda, and keeps a dentist on retainer.

Just kidding about the last part … I think.

3. Here’s some food thought, baseball fans.

Minnie Minoso was the first Latin player to become an MLB star, and Orlando Cepeda once said Minoso is to Latin players what Jackie Robinson is to Black players.

In what amounted to 11 full seasons in the American League, Minoso hit better than .300 eight times, was named to nine All-Star games, earned three Gold Glove awards and retired with a .299 career average, 2,110 hits and 216 stolen bases.

The White Sox retired Minoso’s No. 9 in 1983. He was one off a handful of players to record more than 4,000 hits across all of the professional leagues where he played.

Minoso was enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame in 2022.

Steve Thought O’ The Day – I still write checks, use paper maps and enjoy writing in cursive.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Map or not map, he is not Vasco da Gama.

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