DAILY DIRT: Are these simply historical coincidences or something more bizarre?

Daily Dirt for Monday, Dec. 2, 2024

Before you read any more, here is a list of celebrities with the same initials as me: Sam Elliott, Sheena Easton, Sheila E. and Sara Evans. Coincidence? Here’s more: Famous people from my hometown (Ashland, Ohio) include John Roseboro, Tim Richmond, Eric Musselman and Jessica Canseco (actress who was formerly married to MLB star Jose Canseco) More coincidence?? … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,129 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Here’s some crazy food for thought.

The eerie coincidences involving the lives of former presidents Abe Lincoln and John F. Kennedy are downright remarkable. Consider the following:

• Both were elected to Congress in a year ending in ’46.
• Both were elected president in a year ending in ’60.
• Both married in their 30s to women in their 20s.
• Both lost a son while living in the White House, with 21 letters in their full name and seven letters in each of their first, middle and last names. (William Wallace Lincoln and Patrick Bouvier Kennedy
• Both were shot in the head on a Friday in the presence of their wives — Lincoln in the Ford theater and Kennedy in a Ford car.
• Each assassin’s name has 15 total letters in their first, middle and last names. (John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald)
• Lincoln and JFK were both succeeded by southerners with the last name of Johnson (Andrew Johnson and Lyndon B. Johnson).

I know, I know. Kind of creepy.

2. Did you know (Part 204)

• That Norway and Finland have “professional sleepers” whose job is to test new mattresses, pillows and a variety of different sleeping positions and equipment.
• That Denmark has “cow fart experts” to measure the effects of the methane gas emissions. It’s tied to climate research, or so I’m told.
• That China has “professional mourners” who are hired to cry at funerals and create “a more respectful atmosphere”.
• That Japan as “professional cuddlers” who are hired to cuddle with lonely men. I think we have a different name for that occupation in the U.S.
• That under Italian law is not a crime to steal small amounts of food if you are hungry.

3. Here’s our updated college football rankings heading into this weekend’s conference championship games:

• 1. Oregon (12-0): Ducks are an early 3.5-point favorite to defeat Penn State in the Big Ten title game. It will NOT be that close.
• 2. Texas (11-1): Longhorns and Georgia in the SEC championship game should be must-see TV. Game will kick off at 3 p.m. on ABC. Texas is currently a 2.5-point fave.
• 3. Georgia (10-2): For those who may have forgotten, the Bulldogs beat Texas 30-15 back in October.
• 4. Penn State (11-1): Methinks the Nittany Lions will get their lunch handed to them by Oregon in that Big Ten championship game. How does 41-10 sound?
• 5. Notre Dame (11-1): I promise this will be the last time I bring this up (at least until next week), but what if Notre Dame had not somehow managed to lose to Northern Illinois? 
• 6. Tennessee (10-2): The consensus seems to be the Vols and Ohio State meeting in the first round of the CFB playoffs. One distinct advantage Tennessee will have is coaching. (Am I bitter? Most certainly.) 
• 7. Iowa State (9-3): Those black uniforms and helmets are dynamite.
• 8. SMU (11-1): Mustangs one win away (Clemson) from being ACC champions. Does that sound weird to anyone else?
• 9. South Carolina (9-3): Meet the second-hottest team in the country. Whether that translates into a spot in the playoffs remains to be seen.
• 10. Boise State (11-1): The Broncos will face UNLV in the Mountain West title game Friday. Boise better not be sleeping on the Rebels, who are one of the up-and-coming programs in the nation.

On the bubble: Arizona State (10-2), Alabama (9-3), Ole Miss (9-3).

Bums of the week: Ohio State (10-2), Miami, Fla. (10-2), Clemson (9-3).

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Medical experts say the average human loses about 4 kilograms of skin cells each year. That translates into almost 9 pounds. I’m not sure whether to look at that as a problem, or a diet.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. No calling for Ryan Day’s head? Steve must be getting soft in his old age.