DAILY DIRT: As Father’s Day nears, we tip our hat to Phil, Al, Dan, Homer and Frank

I wonder what they would call a lot of Eighinger’s? You’ll understand when you reach thought No. 2 … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 632 of The Daily Dirt.

1. They often teach us life lessons. And in many cases, they still do.

We have always felt like they’re our best friends.

And they have always been must-see TV.

“They” are our favorite TV dads, and we have loved them dearly through the years.

“There are countless fictional patriarchs who will undoubtedly go down as the greatest father figures we never knew we needed,” writes Alexandra Hough of purewow.com.

Many were also the dads we wanted to be when we grew up.

Be truthful now. Growing up and watching certain TV dads — whether it was Ward Cleaver or Ricky Ricardo — we always envisioned ourselves being them one day. (Personally, I always admired Ward Cleaver above all others. He was played by Hugh Beaumont on “Leave it to Beaver” and always came across as the ultimate father figure, although I would never have named one of my kids Theodore (and then for some reason referred to him as The Beaver).

With Father’s Day on the horizon (it’s June 21 for those keeping score), here are my favorite TV dads — in no particular order — from recent years:

Phil Dunphy (played by Ty Burrell), “Modern Family”: He may never have been “the sharpest tool in the shed,” according to Hough, “but he (was) accepting, understanding and really, really good at pretending to know magic. This is the kind of goofy dad we all need, not only on our TV screens, but in our everyday lives.”

Al Bundy (played by Ed O’Neill), “Married … with Children”: I always admired the character of Al Bundy, if for no other reason than he survived being married to Peg all of those years, plus having to put up with kids like Bud and Kelly.

Dan Conner (played by John Goodman), “Roseanne”: Did any TV father ever have a more challenging family than this guy? Yet he always made sure each and every one knew he loved them — and with the likes of Roseanne, D.J., Darlene, Becky and sister-in-law Jackie that was never an easy task.

Homer Simpson (played by Homer Simpson), “The Simpsons”: Sure, it was a cartoon, but Homer had to put up with Bart. No wonder he ate so many doughnuts.

Frank Costanza (played by Jerry Stiller), “Seinfeld”: Let’s be honest. Yeah, Frank could be a bit loud and obnoxious, but George was his son. It was a wonder the poor man was even control of (most of) his faculties. 

Between now Father’s Day on Sunday, June 18, we’ll have some more fun with dads.

2. I don’t know whether to applaud who came up with these names or ask them what in the world they were thinking:

• A group of crows is called a murder.
• A group of parrots is called a pandemonium.
• A group of porcupines is called a prickle. So is a group of hedgehogs.
• A group of squid is called a squad.
• A group of flies is called a business. So is a group of ferrets.
• A group of turtles is called a bale.
• A group of skunks is called a stench.
• A group of zebras is called a zeal.
• A group of rhinoceroses is called a crash.
• A group of turkeys is called a rafter.
• A group of sharks is called a shiver.
• A group of eagles is called a convocation.
• A group of whales is called a pod.
• A group of jellyfish is called a smack.
• A group of rats is called a mischief.
• A group of baboons is called a troop.
• A group of lemurs is called a conspiracy.
• A group of polar bears is called a celebration.
• A group of foxes is called a skulk.
• A group of otters is called a romp.
• A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
• A group of gorillas is called a band.
• A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance.

3. Speaking of animals, insects and whatever, here are some medal-worthy fun facts to enjoy:

Gold medal: A mosquito has 47 teeth. (Well, no wonder those bites hurt.)

Silver medal: A cockroach can live for several weeks without its head. (Yeah, but it can’t watch any TV.)

Bronze medal: A snail can sleep for three years. (Seriously, how does anyone actually know this?)

Steve Thought O’ The Day – For those wondering, a lemur looks like a small monkey and has a pointed snout, large eyes and a long tail.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. I’m guessing very few were wondering.