DAILY DIRT: As short guys go, Danny DeVito stands tall

October 23, 2024 | By Steve Eighinger, Muddy River News Minister of Culture and Doctor of Love

Danny DeVito — Wikimedia Commons

Daily Dirt for Wednesday, Oct. 23, 2024

The most bothersome item about the following list? It has to be Dustin Hoffman’s “half-inch”…. Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,094 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Who said you had to be 6-foot-4 and built like Superman to be a movie star?

The following actors have proven time and time again there’s a place for short people in cinema:

Danny DeVito, 4-foot-10: He will always be Louie De Palma to me. But a close runner-up is his portrayal of Oswald Cobblepot (The Penguin) in “Batman Returns” (1992). DeVito is a giant among the diminutive.

Joe Pesci, 5-foot-3: Best-ever role? How about Tommy DeVito in “Goodfellas?”

Kevin Hart, 5-foot-5: He’s known to more people through all of those commercials he does than for any one specific movie role. I love the pictures of him standing beside Shaquille O’Neal.

Richard Dreyfuss, 5-foot-5: Most memorable role? How about Matt Hooper in “Jaws?”

Danny Trejo, 5-foot- 5: One of the screen’s all-time bad guys, Trejo proves you do not need to be a giant to cast a formidable shadow.

Henry Winkler, 5-foot-5: I never realized The Fonz was this short.

Dustin Hoffman, 5-foot-5 1/2: That half-inch must be important to him.

Jack Black, 5-foot-6: He proves you can be both short AND obnoxious.

Al Pacino, 5-foot-6: Even if he were 4-foot-6, I wouldn’t want to be approached by him in a dark alley.

Tom Cruise, 5-foot-7: Has his most memorable performance been Joel Goodson in “Risky Business” (1983), “Maverick” in Top Gun (1986, 2022), Ethan Hunt in the “Mission Impossible” series), Charlie Babbitt in “Rain Man” (1988) or Jerry Maguire in “Jerry Maguire” (1986?”

Ben Stiller, 5-foot-7: For some reason, I always think of “Dodge Ball: A True Underdog Story” (2094) when I think of Stiller.

Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Tom Cruise, who are all 5′ 7″ or shorter, all starred in “Tropic Thunder” with Robert Downey, Jr., who towered over them at 5′ 8″.

Martin Sheen, 5-foot-7: Yes, Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen are both his sons.
Jonah Hill, 5-foot-7: See Jack Black comment.
Cillian Murphy, 5-foot-7: There’s still talk this guy could be the new James Bond. I can’t see it. I’m pretty sure there’s a height requirement to be a secret agent.
Macaulay Culkin, 5-foot-7: Remember when he was once relevant? Now his younger brother, Kieran, is the bigger star, but also the same height.
Matthew Broderick, 5-foot-7: There was never any sort of height requirement to be Ferris Bueller.

2. Do you know (Part 162)

That Snoop Dogg’s favorite U.S. towns are Weed, Calif., Mary Jane Falls, Nev., Tokeland, Wash., Stoner, Colo., Blunt, S.D. and Roach, Mo.
That there is a new sub coming to Jimmy John’s, a Smoked Cheddar and Bourbon Club.
That Papa John’s will again be offering its Shaqaroni Pizza.
That Panera is now enticing customers with its new egg and cheese croissant sandwiches.
That Casey’s is reintroducing its Ultimate Waffle Breakfast Sandwich with bacon and/or sausage.

3. Make sure you wish the following celebrities a happy birthday:

Former Rolling Stones bass guitarist Bill Wyman turns 87 on Thursday. He performed on the band’s first 19 albums.
Actor Kevin Kline celebrates No. 76, also on Thursday. The St. Louis native was Harold Cooper in “The Big Chill” (1983) and won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role in “A Fish Called Wanda” (1988).
Yet another Thursday birthday belongs to singer/rapper Drake, who will be 37.
Singer Keith Urban turns 57 on Saturday. He’s equally famous as actress Nicole Kidman’s husband.
Pro wrestler C.M. Punk’s 46th birthday is also Saturday. His real name is Phillip Jack Brooks.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — There are now Pumpkin Spice Oreos, Thomas’s Pumpkin Spice Bagels, a line of Pumpkin Spice cookies from Dolly Parton via Duncan Hines … AND pumpkin-spice nuts from Planters. Stop It! Just stop it!