DAILY DIRT: Both Illinois, Missouri included in states that cuss the most

I’m not sure if blaming the Cubs for the amount of four-letter words used in Illinois is quite fair … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,030 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Jacob Hoff is an active social media contributor, who earlier this week offered “the top 10 states that swear the most,” based on an NPR report from a few years ago.

What caught my eye the most was that his list contained both Illinois and Missouri.

Here’s the top 10 cussingest states and my feelings why:

• 1. Ohio: I can guarantee the percentage of Ohioans using four-letter words increases sharply every fourth Saturday in November if Ohio State loses its annual football game with Michigan.
• 2. Maryland: This is the state that produced John Wilkes Booth. That’s nothing to be proud about, but a good reason to vent. 
• 3. New Jersey: Ever seen “The Sorpranos”? The inferiority complex alone of being from New Jersey would be reason enough to drop a long line of “f” bombs.
• 4. Louisiana: Hurricanes. It has to be the damn hurricanes. Or maybe the gumbo …
• 5. Illinois: “I think most of this (type of language) comes out when the Cubs lose,” Hoff said. See Conrad, Ashley for more on f-bombing.
• 6. West Virginia: I thought this state was almost Heaven?

• 7. California: Earthquakes. It has to be the damn earthquakes. Or the poop on the sidewalks.
• 8. Oklahoma: People often cuss when they are bored. I can’t imagine anyone not being bored in Oklahoma.
• 9. Mississippi: I was in Mississippi once, the key word being “once”. It’s the West Virginia of the south and worthy of any profanity used to describe it. #hottytoddy
• 10. Missouri: If Mizzou’s football team is half as good as expected this fall, there will be far fewer hyphenated remarks heard on the weekends, unless the fans and alumni say “It’s about f*@%ing time!”

2. Did you know (Part 92) that over the next 24 hours:

Toilets around the world will be flushed 22 billion times.

100,000 rats will be born in New York City.

Around the world 1.2 million puppies will be born.

Around the world 231 million people will make love.

Around the world 13 billion condoms will be sold.

Around the world 300 billion emails will be sent. 

Around the world 8.5 billion searches will be made on Google.

You will lose 100 hairs. (Well, not everyone … ) 

3. Think about this:

96 percent of all UFO sightings come from the United States. Does this mean we should be alarmed, or does it imply we have a lot more nut jobs?

Also, The only two countries in the world where Coca-Cola is not sold are North Korea and Cuba. Stupid commies.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — The Chicago White Sox announced Wednesday they are lowering season ticket prices for 2025. Nice move, guys, but I think your fans would appreciate a few hitters and a couple of pitchers a lot more.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News and needs to be regularly reminded that Mizzou beat tOSU in the Cotton Bowl 14-3.