DAILY DIRT: Carlin, Pryor and Rock head one man’s comedic list

Daily Dirt for Thursday, May 1, 2025

I’m pretty confident it would be impossible to watch/listen to any of today’s comedians and not laugh out loud at least once … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,271 of The Daily Dirt.

1. In my life, which is rapidly heading toward birthday No. 72, there has been a handful of comedians who have always made me laugh.

And of course, I will rank them for you. It’s what I do.

1. George Carlin: I first fell in love with Carlin’s schtick on the old “Ed Sullivan Show,” way back when. I think what I always appreciated most about Carlin was that his style never changed. Nothing was sacred, and though his act in the latter days seemed to contain more foul language I could overlook the R-rating simply because the man was always — repeat, ALWAYS — funny.

Carlin quote: “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” 

2. Richard Pryor: Both influential and controversial, Pryor’s early years were the stuff of legends. He was able to relate through both physical and cerebral humor with equal ease. Unfortunately, his off-the-stage problems short-circuited a great career.  

Pryor quote: “What I’m saying might be profane, but it’s also profound.”

3. Chris Rock: I always considered Rock as the successor to Pryor, in terms of great Black comedians. Rock is easily the foulest-mouthed entry on this list, but the man is downright spectacular when it comes to engaging an audience and bringing it to its knees in laughter. 

Rock quote: “Yeah, I love being famous. It’s almost like being white, y’know?”

4. Jerry Seinfeld: The man who has made a career of making us laugh about “nothing” struck gold more than 30 years ago with his famous sitcom, which will keep us chuckling forever. As a stand-up comedian, Jerry’s pretty good, too.

Seinfeld quote: “Hunger will make people do amazing things. I mean, the proof of that is cannibalism.”

5. Bob Newhart: His dry comedy bits also date to the old “Ed Sullivan Show” and then truly became a national treasure when he got his own show on CBS. Newhart’s one of those rare personalities, you could just look at and KNOW something funny was soon to be heard.

Newhart quote: “I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down’.”

Honorable mention: Steven Wright. If Newhart is recognized as the king of the deadpan delivery, which he is, Wright is the prince. If ever a remake of the old “Newhart” series was made, Wright would have to be in the lead role. 

Special mention: Don Rickles, Robin Williams, Sam Kinison, Ray Romano, David Letterman, Garry Shandling, Eddie Murphy.

2. Did you know (Part 349)

• That Americans eat 55 billion hamburgers a year.
• That McDonald’s serves serve 75 million hamburgers per second.
• That the McDonald’s Big Mac was originally known as an “Aristocrat” and then “Blue Ribbon Burger”. Both names were absolute failures.
• That the original Burger King Whopper cost 29 cents in 1957.
• That national animals group PETA once offered Hamburg, NY, $15,000 to change its nickname to Veggieburg. Hamburg declined. Vehemently, I presume.

3. This week’s best of “Found on Facebook”:

• “Somebody asked me what to do with leftover bacon. I’d never heard of such a thing.”
• “Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.”
• “If you smell a penny, it only has one scent.”
• “In 2016, a 70-year-old man robbed a bank in Kansas and then sat in the lobby waiting for police to arrive, claiming he’d rather live in jail than with his wife. He was sentenced to one month’s house arrest.”
• “I haven’t tried yoga, but I have tried bending over to pick up my keys, so I’m pretty sure I’d hate yoga.”

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Pretty sure I’d hate yoga, too.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He hates yoga but loves Yogi … Berra.