DAILY DIRT: Chicago ranked ahead of Los Angeles and New York City — when it comes to rat infestation

Chicago may not have much to hang its hat on sports-wise, but … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 311 of The Daily Dirt.

1. The Bears are not a threat to win the Super Bowl…

the Bulls won’t be NBA champions anytime soon, the Blackhawks and the Cubs are terrible and the White Sox are the most disappointing team in MLB. So what can Chicago hang its hat on?

For the seventh consecutive year, Chicago is the most rat-infested city in the nation. They’re No. 1! They’re No. 1!

Here is a listing of the top 10 most rat-infested cities, according to CBS News:

• 1. Chicago
• 2. Los Angeles
• 3. New York City
• 4. Washington, D.C.
• 5. San Francisco
• 6. Baltimore
• 7. Philadelphia
• 8. Detroit
• 9. Denver
• 10. Cleveland

Other cities of interest: 25. Kansas City, Mo. 30. St. Louis 32. Champaign, Ill.

For those interested, the rat has an average life span of 6-to-12 months. Beginning at the age of 2-3 months, a female rat can produce four to seven litters per year with each litter containing 8-12 pups.  Females can become impregnated within 48 hours after giving birth. The number, size and survivability of litters produced depends upon the amount of food and shelter available. Rats prefer fresh food, but will eat many things such as pet food, dog feces, garbage and plants. If food is scarce, the strongest rats may even eat the weakest and young.

They have very hard teeth and can chew through wood and plaster or any other material that is softer than their teeth. They can crawl through holes the size of a quarter, tread water for three days and land unharmed after a 5-story fall.

(PUBLISHER’S NOTE: I try not to use the word ‘hate’ very often, but CHEESE AND RICE I FREAKING HATE RATS!!! I was cringing while editing Steve’s column and looking at that video. I mean, I usually cringe while reading Steve’s column, but this was legit making my skin crawl. I think I watched ‘Ben’ and ‘Willard’ with my Mom in the 70’s on the CBS Late Movie and they scared the crap out of me. Like Winston Smith, rats are my Room 101. If you don’t get the reference, read a damn book. JRG)

2. Happy birthday wishes to:

• Singer Boy George (born George Alan O’Dowd) will be 61 on Tuesday. Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon!
• Actress Joan Van Ark, who was “Val” on “Knots Landing,” will be 79 on Thursday. She was no Donna Mills.
• Singer Barry Manilow will be 76 on Thursday. Oh Mandy, you came and you have without taking.
• Singer Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys will be 80 on Monday, June 20. ‘Round, ’round get around, I get around.
• Singer Cyndi Lauper turns 69 on Monday, June 20. Girls still just wanna have fun.

3. Dirt-track racing connoisseurs should mark down June 22 on their calendars.

That’s when the UMP Summer Nationals Hell Tour comes to Adams County Speedway. Part of the appeal of dirt-trak racing is driver nicknames, especially when it comes to the super late models. Here are my 10 favorites:

• 1. The Smooth Operator: Bobby Pierce.
• 2. The Real Deal: Don O’Neal.
• 3. The New Deal: Hudson O’Neal.
• 4. Kid Rocket: Josh Richards.
• 5. Bluegrass Bandit: Darrell Lanigan.
• 6. Moweaqua Missile: Shannon Babb.
• 7. The El Paso Express: Ryan Unzicker.
• 8. High Side Hustler: Jason Feger.
• 9. Squirrel: Brian Shirley.
• 10. Chubzilla: Chub Frank.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Steve’s favorite machine at the YMCA is the vending machine.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He should have to pay MRN for this column. We hate rats!