DAILY DIRT: Count on southern-style cooking to keep things interesting

I wonder what the combined calorie intake would be for all three items mentioned in today’s first offering?  … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 625 of The Daily Dirt.

1. I have to admit I love looking into all things southern when it comes to strange food concoctions. Today is no different.

Here are three medal-worthy offerings of more weird food from below the Mason-Dixon line, thanks to the always-entertaining southernliving.com and tasteatlas.com websites:

Gold medal: Old-fashioned Tomato Pie

 For some reason, tomatoes and mayonnaise “have their own love story in southern cuisine,” according to writer Kaitlyn Yarborough. In this case, “classic tomato pie” comes together with mayonnaise and plenty of cheese.” I didn’t know there was such a thing as “classic” tomato pie. I didn’t even know there was any sort of tomato pie. No wonder the south lost the Civil War.

Silver medal: The Luther Burger

With more than 1,000 calories and usually more than 45 grams of fat per serving, the Luther burger is one of the world’s unhealthiest sandwiches, but it is popular down south. The standard burger buns are replaced by sugar-glazed doughnuts (usually a Krispy Kreme). Aside from that, the Luther is basically a cheeseburger topped with bacon, and it is typically served without vegetables or condiments. Many people believe that it was invented years ago at a bar in Georgia, when the cook ran out of standard hamburger buns and used doughnuts instead. Well, the cook had good intentions, but I would guess you could feel a variety of medical conditions developing as you eat one of these bad boys.

Bronze medal: Chicken Fried Bacon

Chicken fried bacon consists of bacon strips that are battered and deep-fried in hot oil, just like chicken fried steak, hence the unusual name. Traditionally, chicken fried bacon is served with sausage gravy or cream gravy on the side for dipping. My arteries are closing as I am writing this.

2. Fun fact I

 Between October and December, upwards of 10 million fruit bats descend on Kasanka National Park in Zambia. They feast on the region’s plethora of fruit trees, and in turn spread seeds throughout the plains and savannahs of southern Africa as they return home to the Congo rain forest.

Just in case you glossed over that first sentence, the key words were TEN MILLION FRUIT BATS, which is about 9,999,999 too many — unless we’re talking a Dracula movie.

On a more serious note, this unexplained (yet vital and mysterious) annual migration is the largest migration of any mammal in the world. 

3. Fun fact II

For starters, I found this totally bizarre. Although the Amazon is the second-longest river in the world and a vital artery of the Amazon rain forest, there is not a single bridge that crosses its expanse. not one.

That’s surprising considering there are more than a hundred bridges crossing the similarly-sized Yangtze, and nine bridges crossing the Nile in Cairo.

Apparently, the simple answer for the Amazon’s lack of bridges is the lack of need for them. The cities and towns bordering the Amazon have ferries and boats; the river basin’s extensive marshes also make building a bridge a costly affair. Floating bridges, or pontoons, are also impractical as the width of the river can vary between 2 miles and 30 miles between the dry and wet seasons.

And for the record, I have no desire to venture anywhere near the Amazon, bridges or not.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — I’m still concerned about the the concept of a tomato pie.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Putting the chicken fried bacon atop the tomato pie seems like a good combination.