Daily Dirt: ‘Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to get through this thing called life … ‘

Daily Dirt for Friday April 18, 2025

Today’s Daily Dirt can be filed under the “you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression.”  Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,259 of The Daily Dirt.

1. The opening lines of a song are crucial. Always.

Those initial words can make or break that song in a matter of seconds. We’re either hooked to listen longer … or we’re not.

Some artists are much better than others in reeling us in, making us want to hear more.

Today I offer 10 of the best opening segues that deserve to be declared iconic. Feel free to sing aloud while reading:

• 1. “Is this the real life? / Is this just fantasy? / Caught in a landside / No escape from reality / Open your eyes / Look up to the skies and see…” — “Bohemian Rhapsody,” by Queen,1975
• 2. “Ooga-chaka, Ooga-ooga / Ooga-chaka, Ooga-ooga … ” — “Hooked on a Feeling,” by Blue Swede, 1974
• 3. “Wake up Maggie / I think I got something to say to you / It’s late September and I really should be back at school … ” — “Maggie May,” by Rod Stewart, 1971
• 4. “All aboard! (maniacal laughter)” — “Crazy Train,” by Ozzy Osbourne, 1980
• 5. “We come from the land of the ice and snow / From the midnight sun, where the hot springs flow … ” — “Immigrant Song,” by Led Zeppelin, 1970
• 6. “Hello darkness, my old friend … ” — “The Sound of Silence,” by Simon & Garfunkel, 1964
• 7. “Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today / To get through this thing called life … ” — “Let’s Go Crazy,” by Prince and The Revolution, 1984
• 8. “A long, long time ago / I can still remember how / That music used to make me smile … ” — “American Pie,” by Don McLean, 1971
• 9. “I read the news today, oh boy…” — “A Day in the Life,” by the Beatles, 1967
• 10. “I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand … ” — “Werewolves of London,” by Warren Zevon, 1978

2. Did you know (Part 336) …

• The scientific term for brain freeze is “sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia.”
• At birth, a baby panda is smaller than a mouse.
• Violin bows are commonly made from horse hair.
• Cats sleep an average of 15 hours per day. (Well, what else do they have to do?)
• The average person blinks 14 to 17 times per minute.

3. The best of this week’s “Found on Facebook”:

• “What do you get when cross a grizzly bear and a mountain lion? Killed. You get killed.”
• “My fear of moving stairs is escalating.”
• “The toilets at Home Depot are for display purposes only. I know that now.”
• “When bald people wash their faces, how high up do they go?”
• “I wouldn’t have to manage my anger if people would manage their stupidity.”

Steve Thought O’ The Day
What is the correct answer to that bald comment above? I’m thinking you would simply go ahead and wash the entire top of the head, right?

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. You just knew a Rod Stewart song would make his list of best opening lines.