Daily Dirt: Does he or doesn’t he? There’s no doubt that Elton, Burt and Bill do

Daily Dirt for Jan. 14, 2022

If you feel like arguing the baseball portion of today’s post, feel free … Sit back, relax and join me in today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 183 of the Daily Dirt.

1. I’ve often played the mental game of “does he or doesn’t he” wear a toupee when watching television.

Sometimes it’s easy to tell, sometimes verification is needed. More times than not, however, I find myself thinking, “Who do they think they are kidding?” Losing hair is often a part of life — albeit unwanted — but still a part of life. 

For anyone reading this who prefers life with a toupee, that’s perfectly cool. More power to you. I just find it more trouble than it’s worth. But that’s just me. The following are my own personal choices for the worst toupees in modern history:

Gold medal: Elton John, who for decades has showcased some of the worst hairpieces known to man.

Silver medal: Burt Reynolds, who prior to his 2018 death, should have sent annual gifts to Elton John for having a worse rug than the some of those Burt showed up with in film and on TV. 

Bronze medal: William “Bill” Shatner, whose lid is just … bad, bad, bad.

Honorable mention: KISS singer Gene Simmons, broadcaster Marv Albert, actor John Travolta.

2. This year’s MLB Hall of Famers will be announced Jan. 25. If I had a MLB Hall of Fame ballot this year, here’s how my top 10 would look:

1. Roger Clemens: He was a Hall of Fame before he did (or did not) dabble in forbidden substances.

2. Barry Bonds: Ditto.

3. Alex Rodriguez: This is his first year of ballot eligibility, and sure, he has no chance of getting in because of the same reasons hurting Clemens, Bonds and Sosa, but let’s be honest … all the noise aside, A-Rod is one of the most incredible baseball talents we have ever seen.

4. Sammy Sosa: If you wanted him as high as No. 3 on this list, I would not argue.

5. Manny Ramirez: Yeah, I know. More illegal substance issues. But this guy may be the best natural hitter of all of these would-be hall of famers. He was an adventure in the field at times, but man oh Manny, could that guy hit.

6. Curt Schilling: The best of the hall of fame pitching candidates. His big-game reputation has always impressed voters, although some of his off-the-field political stances have not.

7. Todd Helton: He should be an automatic.

8. Omar Vizquel: So … Omar apparently has had some off-the-field personal issues. On the field, there has never been a better defensive shortstop, who also possessed an above-average bat.

9. Billy Wagner: One of the top relievers ever, yet little attention is paid to him, largely because he played in Houston and not New York.

10. Jeff Kent: Tremendous offensive numbers for a middle infielder.

3. It’s happy birthday time again for some of our favorite celebrities:

Sunday— Country singer Ronnie Milsap will turn 79: My favorite Ronnie Milsap song? “Smoky Mountain Rain”.

Monday— Actor/spokesman James Earl Jones will be 91: Best voice. Ever.– Actor Jim Carrey turns 60: My favorite Carrey moments come from when he was on “In Living Color” as Fireman Jim. Since then? He’s little more than a poor man’s Adam Sandler.– Singer Suzanna Hoffs will be 63: You know her, she’s the “Walk Like An Egyptian” girl.

Tuesday — Actor Kevin Costner reaches 67: Thank you, Kevin, for “Yellowstone”.

Wednesday— Singer Dolly Parton turns 76: Little-known fact … Dolly is the godmother of Miley Cyrus.– TV chef Paula Deen is 75: One of my wife’s all-time favorite TV personalities. Kathy knows every cooking show that has bene on TV and every Hallmark Channel movie ever made.

Thursday— Guitarist Paul Stanley of KISS turns 70: And yes, we still wanna rock and roll all night long.

Steve Fact O’ The Day Steve has always been a fan of Elton John, despite those atrocious hairpieces. 

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Obviously, no rug.