Daily Dirt: Don’t worry, you’ll be happy if you never listen to these songs again

Daily Dirt for Saturday, Jan. 20, 2024

In fairness to Bobby McFerrin, the man has won 10 Grammys in his career, but those awards have failed to overshadow that “Dont Worry, Be Happy” fiasco … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 844 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Today we conclude our look at the worst songs of the golden era of pop music — the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s. Our final focus is on the dregs of the 1980s, and there were some definite stinkers. This top five may offer the worst of any of the decades we reviewed this week. In fact, I’m sure of it. So plug your noses and let’s go:

• 1. “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” by Bobby McFerrin (1988): Interestingly, the word “toxic” is often associated with this song. I’d simply settle for annoying. 
• 2. “Love Shack,” by the B-52s (1989): Little-known fact about this song: RuPaul’s first prominent national exposure came dancing as an extra in the video for “Love Shack.”
• 3. “Rock Me Amadeus,” by Falco (1985): Somehow, this song made it to No. 1 in the U.S., but in France it got no higher than No. 79. Viva la France!
• 4. “Sussudio,” by Phil Collins (1985): What does “Sussudio mean?” According to Collins, “Nothing.” It was an improvised lyric, and when he tried to find a real word that fit better, he couldn’t, so he went back to “Sussudio.”
• 5. “Puttin’ On the Ritz,” by Taco (1982): Not surprisingly, Taco never had another song that was close to a hit. Shocker.

2. Those humorous and sometimes-quirky messages on electronic signs will soon be disappearing from our highways and freeways across the country. The U.S. Federal Highway Administration has given states two years to implement all the changes outlined in its new 1,100-page manual released last month.

CBS News reported overhead electronic signs with obscure meanings, references to pop culture or those intended to be funny will be banned in 2026 because they can be misunderstood or distracting to drivers.

Among those signs that will be disappearing are messages such as:

• “Use Yah Blinkah” in Massachusetts.
• “Visiting in-laws? Slow down, get there late,” from Ohio.
• “Don’t drive Star Spangled Hammered,” from Pennsylvania.
• “Hocus pocus, drive with focus” from New Jersey.
• “Hands on the wheel, not your meal” from Arizona.

3. It’s time for another edition of the “Funniest Town Names Across America.” And for the record, all of the following are actual names of cities, towns and hamlets across this great land of ours:

• Burnout, Ala. (What better state for this town? Alabama, remember, is the home of famed the Talladega NASCAR speedway.)
• Center of the World, Ohio. (As many of you know, I’m from Ohio … and I had never heard of this place.)
• Top-of-the-World, Ariz. (I still think I’m partial toward the Center of the World.)
• Pee Pee, Ohio. (And yet another town I have no clue about.)
• Cookietown, Okla. (Yes, I need to go there.)
• Early, Iowa. (Surprisingly, there are 587 people living in this town. And none are ever late — for anything.)
• Poverty, Ky. (Unfortunately, a perfect name for a town in this state.)
• Good Grief, Idaho. (Let the Charlie Brown jokes begin …)
• Half Hell, N.C. (And how is life in Half Hell? Obviously, hellacious.)
• Hygiene, Colo. (Cleanest town in Colorado?)
• Satan’s Kingdom, Mass. (At some point, someone in this town had to wonder about a name change, right?)
• Why, Ariz. (Why not?)
• Whynot, N.C. (Yeah, I know. You saw that coming all the way, right?)

Steve Thought O’ The Day
If you’re curious, 10 people live in Cookietown. Hmm … maybe I don’t need to go there after all. I have an unwritten rule about visiting out-of-state towns. They have to be big enough to have a Walmart.