Daily Dirt: Foo Fighters are out there fighting Foo

Daily Dirt for Aug. 22, 2021

We all need a go-to comedian, the guy who always makes us feel better. For decades, mine has been David Letterman. Here’s a mini-tribute to the guy with the famous gap in his front teeth. Welcome to Vol. 44 of the Daily Dirt and today’s thoughts:

1. A friend of mine and I were discussing who our favorite comedians were when I finally settled on Letterman as my No. 1. I was a religious watcher of his longstanding late-night TV show, and prior to that his morning program. Letterman introduced an entirely new level of dry and/or deadpan humor to American viewers. He became a bit too politically oriented late in his career, which was a shame. I think it will kind of tarnish the overall appreciation of a comedian who not only was well ahead of his time, but a genuine master of his craft.Here are some memorable Letterman lines:– “We can all sleep easy at night knowing that somewhere at any given time, the Foo Fighters are out there fighting Foo. (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: LETTERMAN MADE THE MISTAKE OF PUTTING “THE” IN FRONT OF “FOO”. MRN DID NOT. COME ON, DAVE! JRG)“

“Labor Day is a great American holiday that people celebrate by going out and buying products made in China.”– “The Fourth of July combines two things Americans love the most: alcohol and explosives.”

“America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real, but the moon landing was faked.”

“New York now leads the world’s great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn’t make a sudden move.”

2. Speaking of comedians, here are the guys who make up the rest of my all-time top 10 list:

A. David Letterman: Enough said.

B. Richard Pryor: His facial expressions were as much a part of his popularity as the incredible humor he introduced to America.

C. George Carlin: He will be forever known for those famous seven words.

D. Robin Williams: Remember when he burst on to the prime-time scene in “Mork and Mindy”? He could, as they say, make coffee nervous in his prime. Some of his best live performances came on the old “Johnny Carson Tonight Show.”

E. Chris Rock: Yeah, he’s a bit foul-mouthed. Yeah, he never stops parading back and forth across the stage. But he’s downright hilarious.

F. Jerry Seinfeld: Hello-o-o-o, Newman.

G. Steven Wright: The undisputed kind of deadpan.

H. Bob Newhart: If Steven Wright’s the king, Bob Newhart would have to be the prince.

I. Don Rickles: In his prime, this insult master may have been No. 1 on any favorite comedians’ list.

J. Sam Kinison: No one, absolutely no one, screamed like Sam Kinison.

3. New York Yankees play-by-play man John Sterling has long been one of the best in the business. His home run calls are legendary. Even though I’m far from a Yankees fan, I enjoy listening to or watching the New York games hoping to hear a Sterling-ism. Here are a few examples of his best home-run calls:

Gary Sanchez: “Gary is scary! He is the Sanchize! The Sanchino!”

Gio Urshela: “Gio Ursehla! A most happy fella!”

Brett Gardner: “Gardner plants one. Gardy … goes yardy! It’s a Gardy party!”

Robinson Cano: “Robbie Cano! Dontcha know!”

Starlin Castro: “Star light star bright. Starlin just hit one with all his might. Starlin’ is darlin’!”

Didi Gregorious: “Oh yes in-Didi! Gregorious makes Yankee fans euphorious! This is the dawning of the age of Gregorious!”

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He has a manly scent.