Daily Dirt: Hey, Ugly! You look worse than Old Tomato Face!

Daily Dirt for Sept. 3, 2021

In school, were you ever subjected to the taunts of a bully who may have labeled you “Four Eyes,” “Tub of Lard” or some other nicety? If so, you can probably sympathize with the baseball players mentioned in today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 56 of the Daily Dirt:

1. Not all sports nicknames are kind, especially in baseball. At times, opposing players can be downright cruel.For every Babe “The Sultan of Swat” Ruth, recognized as one of the most respected monikers in MLB history, there is a “Ding-A-Ling” Dain Clay (who was also known as “Sniffy”). Clay was likely scarred for life, but he was not alone.Here are a handful of other nicknames that players probably never recovered from:

Johnny Dickshot: As if poor Johnny didn’t have enough of a problem with his given name, somewhere during his career he picked up the extra burden of being nicknamed “Ugly.”

Gabby Hartnett: The nickname”Old Tomato Face” was allegedly due to his face turning red from easy embarrassment.

Jeffrey Leonard: OK, Leonard may not have been the handsomest man in the big leagues, but “Penitentiary Face” seems a bit much. Leonard, because of a strong sense of political correctness, requested he be known as “Correctional Facility Face.”

Hugh Mulcahy: A journeyman pitcher who never enjoyed a winning season in eight MLB seasons, he was dubbed “Losing Pitcher.” Harsh. Extremely harsh. But in all fairness, Hugh’s career record was 45-89.

2. One of the pleasures in life I enjoy most is going to the cupboard at home, getting a glass, filling it with ice cubs and pouring a nice, tall Coca-Cola (or, on some days, a Mountain Dew). Did you realize you can do just that — drink a Coke, that is — in every country in the world for the exception of two. Coca-Cola still has not found its way to North Korea or Cuba, at least legally. That’s because those two nations are under long-term U.S. trade embargoes.

3. Sports writer Pete Thamel of yahoo.com suggests the struggling Big 12 Conference (which will actually be just eight schools once Texas and Oklahoma exit) add eight new members to remain relevant and then break into four divisions, or “pods.”
Thamel suggests adding these eight schools: BYU, Boise State, Colorado State, San Diego State, Houston, Central Florida, South Florida and Cincinnati. He suggests Memphis and Tulane could also be considered. Thamel’s new divisions would be:

West: Boise State, BYU, Colorado State and San Diego State.

Midwest: Iowa State, Kansas, Kansas State and Oklahoma State.

Texas: Baylor, TC, Texas Tech and Houston. (Tulane could go here if the egos of the Texas schools “foolishly block Houston,” according to Thamel.)

East: Cincinnati, West Virginia, Central Florida, South Florida. (Memphis could here, if two Florida schools were not wanted, suggested Thamel.)

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. No one has ever called this Adonis ugly.