DAILY DIRT: Homer and Marge, or maybe Dan and Roseanne, might have been ideal parents

You’ll have to keep reading for a potential big drawback of eating sannakji in South Korea  … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 438 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Have you ever wondered what it would have been like to have Archie and Edith from “All In The Family” as your parents? Or how about George and Louise from “The Jeffersons?”

If I could have chosen TV parents to be my own, these would have been the leading candidates:

• 1. Homer and Marge, “The Simpsons”: What do they say? Like father, like son? Yep, I would be a chip off the old block.
• 2. Roseanne and Dan, “Roseanne”: I couldn’t have gotten away with anything if Roseanne had been my mom.
• 3. Archie and Edith, “All In The Family”: I could just imagine sitting and watching the evening news with Archie.
• 4. Frank and Estelle, “Seinfeld”: There would have been a lot of yelling. A lot. But that’s OK, I’ve always enjoyed a noisy household.
• 5. Mike and Carol, “The Brady Bunch”: The only thing that would not have worked with me as one of the Brady kids was all the brothers and sisters. I grew up as the only child, and I enjoyed that. There was never an argument over what TV program was next on the viewing schedule. 

2. It was a busy weekend perusing social media. Here’s the best of what was “Found on Facebook.”

• “My wife ain’t allowed to play the lottery. She hit the jackpot when she found me.”
• “Getting kissed by a vampire is a pain in the neck.” (Come on, it’s Halloween!)
• “If you ever get locked out of your house speak to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.”
• “Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.”
• “80 percent of the ocean has not been explored. There could be a Dollar General down there.”

3. Let’s start the week off with another disgusting food item, this one from South Korea:

Live octopus is a popular dish in South Korea and sannakji is one of the most common ways to eat it. The octopus is cut into small pieces and then served immediately, so you’ll be eating it while it’s still wriggling on your plate. It’s said to taste like a combination of chicken and shrimp, and if you’re not careful, the suction cups on the octopus can stick to your throat and choke you.

Well, that’s just great … I think I’ll go for a Whopper and onion rings, please. And plenty of ice in the Coke.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — I hate raccoons.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He probably wouldn’t like a raccoonburger.