Daily Dirt: How about ‘The Hispanic Causin’ Panic’ vs. ‘The Rated R Superstar’ in a winner-take-all grudge match?

It’s a question that rivals what came first, the chicken or the egg? What is more entertaining, the nicknames of some boxers and pro wrestlers, or their actual matches? … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 265 of The Daily Dirt.

1. For me, part of a lifelong attraction to professional boxing and wrestling have always been the sports’ nicknames, or possibly the aura surrounding those monikers.

Sports like baseball, football and basketball have their own lists of colorful players’ nicknames, but none of those have ever seemed to hit home like boxing and wrestling. Here are my favorites from both the ring and squared circle:

Boxing

• 1. Juan “The Hispanic Causin’ Panic” Lazcano: The lightweight only had one title shot, but did put together a 37-5-1 career record that included 27 knockouts.
• 2. Thomas “The Hit Man/Motor City Cobra” Hearns: He was one of the most-feared boxers in the history of pugilism, winning world titles in five different weight classes. Hearns ended with a 61-5-1 record, not to mention 48 knockouts.
• 3. Ray “Boom Boom” Mancini: Very few boxers could hand out — or absorb — the degree of punishment that Mancini did. The lightweight finished with a 29-5 record and 23 knockouts.
• 4. Andrew “Six Heads” Lewis: The former welterweight champion (23-4-2, 17 knockouts) enjoyed an interesting career. “Lewis is arguably (best known) for retiring in the seventh round of a 2006 fight against Danny Dalton because of an urgent need to use the bathroom,” wrote Kevin McRae in 2012. “At the time of the stoppage, Lewis was well ahead on all three scorecards.”
• 5. Owen “What The Heck” Beck: He was little more than a fringe contender in the heavyweight division (my favorite class, by the way) in the mid 2000s, but the nickname was great. He finished his career with a rather pedestrian 29-11 mark and 20 knockouts.

Wrestling

1. Dusty Rhodes: “The American Dream”: Who didn’t love Virgil Riley Runnels? Rest in peace, Dusty. You’ll always be stylin’ and profilin’ in our wrestling memories.

2. Edge: “The Rated R Superstar”: The charismatic one had some legendary TLC matches with the Hardys and Dudleys.

3. Ric Flair: “The Nature Boy”: A 16-time world champion. Woo!!

4. Triple H: “The Game.” I’ve never been a fan of ole Hunter Hearst Helmsley, but the man always put on a good show prior to his recent retiurement.

5. John Cena: “The Doctor of Thuganomics”: He remains one of the best in his trade when not only in the ring, but behind a microphone.

2. Speaking of names, did you know these were the actual names of the following celebrities?

• Whoopi Goldberg: Caryn Johnson. I would guess she’s just as obnoxious as Caryn as she is Whoopi.
• Meg Ryan: Margaret Mary Emily Anne Hyra: Yeah … Meg Ryan was a solid choice.
• Snoop Dogg: Calvin Broaddus Jr. I’m pretty sure his career would have turned out quite differently if he had entered show biz as Calvin instead of Snoop.
• Miley Cyrus: Destiny Hope Cyrus. She changed her name to Miley and started taking her clothes off.
• Bruno Mars: Peter Hernandez. For some reason, “Uptown Funk” sounds better when you say it is a hit by Bruno Mars, instead of Peter Hernandez.

3. Five people I would like to receive a friend request from on Facebook:

• 1. The Rock: I think Dwayne and I could hang out quite well, watching football and “The Walking Dead”.
• 2. Kim Kardashian: Just because.
• 3. Rod Stewart: If you know me, I shouldn’t have to explain this one.
• 4. Rob Manfred: The MLB commissioner could use my input on what would make the national pastime an even better game. Come on, Rob. Message me.
• 5. Lester Holt: America’s No. 1 newsman could always confide in me, although I’m not real good at keeping secrets.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — At no point in his life, did Steve ever entertain the thought of being a boxer. 

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Steve always wanted to be a dancer.