Daily Dirt: ‘I found myself right on top of him — face to face with the blowhole’

To this day, it’s hard to simply think about “Seinfeld” and not smile, maybe even chuckle out loud. Yeah, the show was THAT good. Welcome to today’s three thoughts and Vol. 230 of The Daily Dirt. 

1. “Seinfeld” has been gone from network television for 24 years, yet it remains a part of many our daily lives, thanks to reruns, classic characters, unforgettable one-liners and entire episodes that helped redefine TV comedy.

Here are my three favorite “Seinfeld” episodes:

Gold medal: “The Marine Biologist” episode that saw George Costanza claiming to be just that, a marine biologist, and then forced to try and remove a golf ball from the blowhole of a beached whale.Memorable line: “Well then, from out of nowhere, a huge tidal wave lifted me, tossed me like a cork, and I found myself right on top of him — face to face with the blowhole. I could barely see from the waves crashing down upon me, but I knew something was there. So I reached my hand in, felt around, and pulled out the obstruction.” — George.

Silver medal: Who among us can ever forget “The Contest” episode that pitted George, Jerry, Kramer and Elaine in an unorthodox contest to determine which one was truly the “master of their domain”?Memorable line: “Men want to see women naked. Whatever it is that you won’t show us, that’s what we’re obsessed with seeing. I mean, if women always wore hats in public, all the time, you’d see men buying Playhead magazine.” — Jerry.

Bronze medal: “The Soup Nazi” will always have a place on ther “Seinfeld” medal stand. Remember when Jerry had to decide between his girlfriend and the soup?Memorable line: “See, the way I figure it, it’s much easier to patch things up with Sheila than with the Soup Nazi.” — Jerry.

“Seinfeld” premiered on NBC in July 1989 and ram through May 1998. There were 172 episodes.

2. Did you happen to notice what the most-watched sporting event was over the weekend?

NASCAR, bay-bee, which beat out the North Carolina-Duke men’s college basketball game (Mike Krzyewski’s last home game as Duke coach) and the Warriors-Lakers NBA game. NASCAR pulled in 4.54 million viewers, UNC-Duke 3.98 and the Lakers-Warriors 3.34. Checkered flag goes to the boys who make the noise.

3. The end of the world as we know it may truly be near. Heinz has released a birthday cake-flavored mayonnaise. (Yes, you read that correctly.)

Actually, Heinz initially released this crap two years ago, but is just now “reintroducing” it. As if there are not enough problems in the world today … )

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Steve feels if he’d ever been asked to be a part of the “Seinfeld” cast it would have been as Kramer’s best friend.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. I’m afraid he would’ve received the “No soup for You!” treatment at one point in his life.